Friday, November 17, 2006

What's success for you ?

An informal chat with a Slot Zero candidate, who’d like to be called A Realist, follows :

Wanderer : so what's success for you, outside the interview room of course ?
A Realist : to know what the end of my capacity is, as a person. Is there a limit........or can i stretch it further than this
Wanderer : to exploit your potential to its farthest limit.. and exhaust yourself?

A Realist : thats what it is...the money, the perks...they are indicators..they are not the goal...but they are bloody good indicators of how far the limit is
Wanderer : :)
oh yes

A Realist : when i exhaust myself...i have tested my current limit
Wanderer : they're everything a conventional definition of success could ask for
A Realist : but that is not the END ....its a measure...thats all it is....
Wanderer : what's the end objective then
A Realist : to know what my limits are as a person
thats all

Wanderer : in what dimension?
A Realist : is there something higher that i m capable of....
Wanderer : personal/professional.. ?
A Realist : both

Wanderer : what's success in the personal dimension?
A Realist : am i good daughter friend sister ......but as i see, its rather subjectie i havent figured that out too much......

Wanderer : subjective as in.. it's only your own opinion of how well you've done!
Wanderer : ahan!
A Realist : naah...on the contrary it isn’t totally me dependent which is why it is harder to evaluate

A Realist : A lot of that also depends on the ppl around u....u know if what ppl do affects our life to a large degree, ur personal life will be a lot more complex and success a lot harder to measure

A Realist : and then again, a lot of the feel good factor comes from what ppl who matter to u think of u as a person, a friend ,a one imp thing is to learn to read ppl's perceptions correctly.. thats an imp measure of ur personal success cos a lot of personal "failure" comes from misunderstanding ppls intentions and beliefs

Wanderer : how far should you allow your definitions to be affected by others?
at the end of life.. you have to answer yourself and no one else

A Realist : unlike the professional life, ur personal life is about other ppl around u.....
u cant really have a personal life without getting neone else involved
Wanderer : what do you do in the case of a conflict?
lets say..
love marriage.. that your parents don't want.. or a career path.. that you think is the best for you and your spouse doesn't agree

A Realist : hard qs.....but let me attempt to evaluate what i would do
Wanderer : hmm...
A Realist : marriage....well...i wud be spending gretare time and energy in that relation thn what my parents will
so i wud assume i am the superior stakeholder in that decision

Wanderer : in any decision relating to your're the superior stakeholder
that's what i'm trying to bring in
well..maybe one should look at life in a more wholesome way
A Realist : yes

This gave a starting point for me to go on a journey within the self.. to explore the definitions of success.. maybe they change with time and as life moves on and as individuals evolve. But then, maybe we can make a fundamental basis on which we can define the parameters that we would like to define our success in terms of.

When I try to break down the success in life into various dimensions, I of course understand that life’s a combination of the simultaneous pursuit of all of these goals. Fundamentally, I am assuming that success is the achievement of supreme satisfaction with no more craving or lust left for anything. All I’m trying to do is to break it up into different components and see if maybe we are doing justice to our own needs itself, and are we actually assigning each component the weightage that we want to assign? The fact remains, that we have one life to live and each day is only 24 hours. That does make it a constant sum game, if not a zero sum.

So essentially, everything you want has an opportunity cost of something that you will be okay with forgoing. Only thing is, you could be clearer about what is it that might be compromised and for what. And finally, be able to define for ‘yourself’ what it means to live a wholesome life!
It shall come later.. as to how to break it down into parameters and components!

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