Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Calling it Quits!

Hi Kajal,

I’ve been procrastinating it for a while, but it’s become quite a burden to carry, so I’d rather speak it out. Its been quite a while, since I’ve told you that I am missing the warmth in the relationship.. the intimacy and the bonding are just not there. I don’t feel the elation that I used to and finally it’s not the joyful bliss that it once was. So is it just a formality that I am carrying on with you?

You know, I’ve stressed so many times that we need to sort out the many issues arising between us because eventually, they’re building up distances between us. So far, you haven’t bothered to respond to my concerns and always behaved as if all was going great. Either you’ve failed to understand me.. or are still taking it too lightly. And this is not really what I’d expect from someone I’m willing to give my life for! There’ve been constraints on your side.. which presented hurdles.. but was it so big that you took so many of my requests so lightly? You could’ve found ways to go over, around or through the problems.. had you really wanted to! Not really irresponsibility on your part.. its only about the differential importance we give to our communication.. I give it a bit too much.. you don’t give it that much.. it can’t be called a fault on your part.. but possibly incompatibility on our part!

Sorry Kajal, but the perspective gap between the two of us seems too wide now.. and I don’t think I have the energy or the patience to try bridging it anymore! For you, once you’ve committed, you are convinced that this is the relationship that you have to be in, if any. I have not found any one new either who I could give your place.. but its not necessary for me to be in a relationship.. I can be comfortable all alone as well and anyway, we haven’t been sharing the most pleasant of times of late.. have we !

We’re sure that we’re not looking for someone new, but should this mean that we can stop caring about what’s happening between the two of us? As far as I can guess, you have some what closed your heart for anyone else telling yourself that you’ve found the one for yourself! I could do the same.. the first thing that I tell most girls I befriend closely is that I love someone.. so it would remove any thoughts of any progress in that directio! But would that mean that I’d take you for granted.. or you me?

Maybe its my messy state of mind that’s making me this drastic and radical step.. but with no hard feelings or anything of that sort.. Lets call it quits Kajal, lets call it quits!

You know we’d once talked about being good friends first and then think about anything further! Maybe that would’ve helped us understand each other better, and if we can’t be upto each others needs.. then there’s a little too big a compromise. I’d rather be alone then.. so I wouldn’t have any expectations either!

If I keep subjugating all my expectations.. I’ll be piling stuff within myself.. which would someday result in something really unpleasant and just cause too much of undesirable mess! We’re probably better off separating on a positive note and if fate does cause our paths to cross some time in future.. we wouldn’t be uncomfortable saying a Hi!

Its not that you’re not a great person or anything of that kind! Its just that I don’t believe that we’re all that compatible! I’m really scared.. coz I am not sure how you’ll take it. whatever might happen.. I still care about you! One failed relationship doesn’t change everything in life! Don’t close your heart and mind for someone new.. these ups and downs are a part of life! I am sure about myself that I can carry on.. but somehow feel worried about you.. I don’t want you to suffer because of this relationship with me! Do not carry the baggage of negative emotions.. but remember it for the bliss it was for some time.

Alright, keeping the sentimentalism apart.. This relationship has taught me a lot of patience… and given me the most precious and cherished moments of my life! You shall definitely continue to be a part of my life, even if that’s as the first love of my adolescence.

Sorry dear, I never wanted to hurt you.. but as always.. I believe in saying out the truth and facing it. Do acknowledge having seen this mail.. but don’t bother trying to explain anything now. It doesn’t matter. If there’s any parting note that you’d like to say.. please do.


Take care

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Ok.. so that's three in a row.. for romantic situations.. guess I gotta get back to thinking and talking about the saner things of life! but then.. I'm capable of doing breakups too! Now.. this one's fiction again.. but I know this has too much of 'me' in it.. too much of thinking.. not enough emotionalism... probably one would say 'not enough feel for a break up' .. but I 'think' that's how it should be.. when you're falling for someone.. it's the time to be all sentimental and passionate.. Failure in love needs to be treated a little more objectively.. else.. it messes up your life!

Cheers!


wanderer

1 comment:

Rohan said...

daya kar de yaar..mera endurance test le raha hai kyaa aise blogs likh ke??