Saturday, June 16, 2007

Of the Head and the Heart - II

continuing from the previous post... of the Head Vs. Heart

Head: you’ll never give up.. would you?

Heart: not before you do!

Head: Alright then, go on waiting for her. She’d probably be shopping for last minute things for the long trip. Oblivious to the fact that you’re waiting here.

Heart: Don’t you try to test my patience. I have loads of it. Yes, its tested time and again but well.. I have loads of it. The appetite for love also comes with a storage of patience. You can’t do an unfair trade and be a gainer all the time.

Head: oh yeah.. lets listen to the gyan and theories of the mighty heart!

Heart: Will you stop nagging me? I mean come on! The day I decide to take over, you’ll amount to nothing!

Head: yeah, you might crush me aside and take control and do as you please. Lets see who sticks with you after that!

Heart: Its not like that. I have enough qualities to make someone value me and stick with me, perhaps forever. And then I’m not gonna let you meddle with my affairs.

Head: And we shall wait till eternity for that someone special to come!

Heart: it’ll not be eternity. I’m real, and I have faith in myself.

Head: to hell with your faith. You’ll get stuck on women that have funny sides… trust me. All women do.

Heart: So what if they have funny sides.. don’t I also have YOU??

Head: You’re actually taunting my intellectual capabilities?

Heart: Yeps, you’ve messed in my matters more than necessary and its You that’s responsible for screwing up matters for me!

Head: Wonderful, so now you have found a way to rid yourself of the blame for whatever’s going wrong with the world.

Heart: EVERYthing that goes wrong in the world, is YOUR fault.

Head: So now you’re gonna act all girly and blame it on me eh? Did you actually learn that from one of your lady loves?

Heart: :P I mean it. If it were only left to the heart, the love would’ve been purer, bereft of the reasonability that you keep demanding all the time.

Head: Awe come on, you don’t want to be the traditional lover, not giving enough space to the other person.

Heart: She can have all the space she wants. I only have issues with a few things and she shouldn’t really mind it. I’m not demanding too much am I?

Head: Yeah right, you’ll go on to start telling her what she should wear and what she should not wear, whom she should socialize with and whom she should not, what she should talk to someone and what she shouldn’t.. you’d decide for her what she should do and overload her with all your mighty and lofty ideas… bore her to death.. make her feel claustrophobic and make her want to run away! Thank me that I stopped you from being your real stupid, orthodox and traditional self, else what’s happening today would’ve happened long ago.

Heart: THAT’S exactly why you’re to blame. Had it happened long ago, we would’ve seen real reasons. We would have parted ways long ago and things wouldn’t have reached this far.

Head: You do agree that things were meant to reach all this far, but somehow they did.

Heart: I don’t know! Maybe…

To be continued..


Of the Head and the Heart - I

One afternoon on the Delhi airport, a rescheduled Air Sahara flight left me with a lot of time to look around and get inspired.. it’s only now that I’ve been able to put it together! A gloomy, lost face, staring into space, the guy appeared to be talking to himself, looking at time quite frequently. Not that he was in a hurry, but perhaps he was waiting for someone, perhaps resolving an inner conflict. He didn’t have luggage, was perhaps not a passenger himself. My imagination ran wild, bit of mixed experiences, tales of friends and expressions on his face, I created an echo of what was going on in his head.

‘Sometimes, when you have all that you desire, you get out of your way in order to win yourself some dozes of reality which bring you crashing back to the ground. Perhaps a version of the death instinct, which motivates you to bring pain to yourself. Life is running smooth, you’re doing fine. Neutral emotionally, no upswings, or downswings and then you choose to get into something which you’d decided not to, and well, you then curse yourself, or more like laugh at yourself for having done that.

Then you’re at a loss of words to express what you feel, you don’t know what to do. You find it difficult to pass every moment. You want to get up, get out and get going. Go away forever. But you can’t. You have a promise to keep. So you just sit there, watch time go by.

Things haven’t been the best between the two of you, but you didn’t want to leave on a negative note when she was going away for so long. So well, you probably had done exchanging pleasantries over the phone last night, wasn’t it best left there itself? Why did you agree to see her today? Why’re you here now? How many more signs do you want, haven’t you had enough of conflict between the head and the heart?’

Head: So? Happy standing around watching people going by, sharing hugs and goodbyes?

Heart: Well, I hadn’t exactly come in for this!

Head: But that’s what you seem to have gotten.

Heart: It’s ok. Half of me knew that this was coming. But well, the heart can’t really THINK too far. It only BEATS.

Head: Yeah, you actually had started believing in all those romantic fundaes about the loads of affection you have for her and why you should give it one last shot…. Those funnily romantic signals diverting your head!

Heart: Well, they didn’t exactly divert me, they just got me free from your clutches. If I go by your rules, you’ll perhaps never let me laugh, cry, sing, be merry or mourn.. you’ll not let me beat.

Head: Beat, but beat for yourself. Sing, but sing for those who want to listen to you, trust me, there are many. Laugh with those who like to laugh with you! Cry for those, who would probably offer a shoulder… see for yourself what you’ve been doing!

Heart: Well. I am not trying to give justifications or look for answers here. All I know is, my life means beating. And the day I stop beating, I stop living..

Head: So you go on blowing this trumpet of liking the roller coaster to justify every low that comes in, and to explain yourself and justify it as an enjoyable reality of life.. till when mate?

Heart: till I can still survive it! Till I find someone who would be as kind to me as I need them to be!

Head: kindness Huh!

Heart: Awe come on, life isn’t all that hopeless yet.

To be continued..