The Complexities of love!

Philosopher : iska matlab kyaa hai

“m feeling very bad now…….thatz y went offline….i m left with no words to explain u wat I feel for u ……I know there is some reason bcoz of which u r disturbed……I will definitely come but try n understand me……u will always b my friend…no matter what u say n think abt me …”

???

kyaa matlab hai iska?

Wanderer: ok, who's this, for whom?

:

:

Wanderer : Ok, so what's going on?

bologe? this can't be from a guy

Philosopher : arey mere friend ko aaya hai yeh, ek ladki se obviously, what does it mean, does she think he is going to propose to her? or is she going to do it ???

Wanderer: hang on, then lemme read it again

Philosopher : telll me, tell me, okk, very badly framed sentences

Wanderer: ok she thinks he likes her

Philosopher : i obvi wont go out with a girl who frames her sentences so badly

Wanderer: but there's some mess going on

so well she thinks he's afraid of saying it

or something

Philosopher : does she like him?

Wanderer: she won't say an immediate yes to a proposal

but she does value him as a friend

so well if he does like her

Philosopher : does this happen in real life!

Wanderer: kya fart hai, what's wrong with it?

Philosopher : i have no idea thats why asking u

arey that girl was supposed to go to del...she works in bangalore

Wanderer: ok..

Philosopher : supposed to come this weekend

Wanderer: and is that guy you?

Philosopher : nahi rey idiot i am in blore only, why wud she goto del

Wanderer: you're quite likely to be using a friends' name for this

Philosopher : naah trust me, wont get into any mess like this, aur tere se kyun chupaonga bey

kuch bhi, toh she isnt going this weekend

Philosopher : and she sent this mail to him

Wanderer: ok..

Philosopher : and our man immediately booked a ticket and is flying to chennai to clear the mess up apparently... and he was asking me for advice

LOL

Wanderer: so you in turn got to me… ask him if he really likes her

Philosopher : i cudnt understand where the mess was or rather is.. no idea if he likes likes her

Wanderer: that's the key

Philosopher : he likes her thats all i know

Wanderer: they can go on being friends but well will lead into further mess if they don't clarify

Philosopher : but what s so urgent that he had to leave for chennai right away?

Wanderer: the fact that he's flying to Chennai immediately says a lot

Philosopher : whats the deal? whats transpiring?

Wanderer: something's happening they just need to catch up and clarify

lotsa emotions building up

Philosopher : “i m left with no words to explain u wat I feel for u”

Wanderer: bole toh?

Philosopher : what does this mean?

Wanderer: think that someone said that to you…

if they love you, they can SAY that, if they are friends with you.. they can SAY that

but it's something different, something in between, they feel something strong…

Philosopher : hahaha

Wanderer: but not really in love yet

Philosopher : soo bloody complex

Wanderer: ok, i like this chat, i wanna publish this, so find yourself a nick, the cities shall be changed to protect identities

:

:

whoever said.. yeh ishq nahin aasaan...

my salute :)

wanderer

CRM at it's best..

Hi ankurg,

We wish u very happy birthday

Have fun!
The minglebox team

Dear Ankur Gattani, We extend our sincerest best wishes for a very Happy Birthday and Prosperous year ahead. Best Wishes, ICICIdirect.com

Hello footloose05, We at PaGaLGuY.com - The Everything of MBA, CAT 2007, GMAT, XAT, SNAP, IIM would like to wish you a happy birthday today!

Dear Mr. Gattani, Wishing you a wonderful year ahead! Yours sincerely, Jet Privilege Team If you are unable to view this message correctly, please ensure that you are connected to the internet and click on the following link: View Birthday Greeting This is a post-only mailing from Jet Airways and we are unable to receive any responses that you may send on this message. Should you have any queries or wish to send us any feedback may we request you to send a new email to jetprivilege@jetairways.com. JP Membership: 119799540

CRM.. at it's best


--
The one I liked most was :

Dear ANKUR,

It's your birthday today and all of us from the Alumni Cell, IIT-Bombay wish you many happy returns of the day !....

We wish to remind you that we cherish the association of our alumni with their alma mater and urge you to keep in touch, informing us of any milestone in your personal and professional life.

With best wishes,

Yours sincerely,

Pradipta Banerji,
IIT-Bombay


wanderer

More amusing wishes.. and Relationship Management!

Dear ankur, Your stars predict that today is your birthday! So first, here's wishing you a very happy birthday! Looking into the year ahead... Holidays look good for you this year as Christmas will come on the 25th of December. You will be lucky in love, the bad thing is that she's a 'he' (or vice-versa)! You'll make lots of money this year, but then you'll be put in jail for counterfeiting. Finally, we predict that next year your birthday will occur on the very same day! So go ahead & celebrate. Don't forget to log onto www.contests2win.com. We predict that you're going to WIN big time! But don't take our word for it. Check it out yourself! Regards, The C2W Psychics.

Hey ankur,

We at Games2win wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You have been GamerGreeted by us. To check your very own 'Birdday' GamerGreet, click on the link provided below.

http://www.games2win.com/gamer_greets/happy_birdday/gamer_greets.asp


Complete the small game to read our message. Have a great 'Birdday'!

Cheers,

Games2win Team

XING - Powering Relationships

Happy Birthday!

We'd like to wish you many happy returns of the day and all the best for the coming year.

Best regards,

Your XING team
http://www.xing.com/go/help

© XING AG http://www.xing.com---

Hello ankur.gattani,

We at Global Entrepreneurship Network would like to wish you a happy birthday today!

From cattle rearing to IIT; a dream come true

An article, mailed across on the IIT community,

From cattle rearing to IIT; a dream come true

Hyderabad, June 16: The journey from agriculture fields and cattle rearing to IIT and institutions equivalent to it is arduous. But three students coming from remote villages in AP have made it.

During vacation of the college - AP Social Welfare Junior College in Nagole here - T Venkateshwarlu and M Raju Naik used to work as farm labourers to help their parents. Rama Dasu, however, used to take care of cattle.

For them, their college was a temple of learning. They were among the 32 students, who took the examination.

Venkateshwarlu got selected in IIST (Pune) and IISER (Kolkata) and Ramadasu secured 132nd rank and is expecting a seat in any one of the seven IITs and IISTs.

Raju Naik who got 251st rank in IIT is interested in Electronic and Communication Engineering. Apart from this, Raju Naik and Venkateshwarlu secured ranks in the AIEEE (B.Tech) exam, while Rama Dasu got rank in AIEEE (B.Arch ) test.

Venkateshwarlu, the eldest son in his family says: "There is no engineering student in my native village Paluru near Nellore. I wanted to become one. I know IIT would change my life for ever. I studied hard, spending 16 hours a day on studies. The college staff helped me in my studies", he recalls.

Rama Dasu, elder son of Ramakrishna and Chittamma, had to travel by bus and train to reach Nagole institution from remote G Pangidigudem village in West Godavari. He was the first person from his village to enter a engineering course. "Now I want to encourage my younger brother and two sisters to
study", he said.

M Raju Naik, is a wonder boy, according to the college staff. He comes from a remote tribal hamlet Muthyalapadu Tanda in Kurnool. To reach the nearest bus stop, Raju Naik had to walk 3 km. He is the only son to his parents and has three elder sisters, who discontinued studies at an early stage.

"After coming to know about IIT, I decided that it should be my life's goal", he says. Perceiving his zeal, teachers gave all the support he needed. "Raju is without books only when he sleeps. He is a promising kid", a college teacher says.

Hoping it would be the Genesis and not the Nemesis of the dream.. I'd only like to say, All the best.

Wanderer

Of the Head and the Heart - III

The ongoing battle between the head and the heart, continued from the previous entry

Head: So if they didn’t come all this far, weren’t you better off?

Heart: I’d have been fine. It was you who got impressed and interested time and again and got things this far. ‘This is only reasonable’, ‘don’t be a chauvinist’, ‘give her some space’, ‘be rational’, ‘let her be herself’, ‘you can’t ask her to change for you’- ALL OF THESE HAVE BEEN PUSHED DOWN MY THROAT BY YOU. If it weren’t for you, we’d have probably fought hugely over one of these things and parted ways long ago.

Head: which would’ve been good for you as well as me…

Heart: Haah. I have learnt enough lessons to find the whole thing worthwhile.

Head: You really don’t have much to say do you? Go on.. with the same raga.

Heart: What do you think I should’ve done?

Head: Ask what you shouldn’t have done!

Heart: Stop acting high and mighty. I know I’ve goofed up, and brought myself pain, but I know how to handle my affairs on my own.

Head: Yeah, you know how to handle your affairs. And then you come back to me, crying away to glory like someone snatched your lollypop away.

Heart: I would’ve made a total peace had someone snatched it away, but well..

Head: you’ve lost it. You’re a born loser aren’t you?

Heart: sometimes, it’s more fun losing than winning. Would you have enjoyed more if we’d parted on bitter terms, thanks to our reasonability and your insistence on letting her go without meeting one last time…

Head: Wouldn’t it be better? We’d taken a decision, we would stick with it. We’d move on in life.. there’s no dearth of good people on the planet!

Heart: yeah, if the world were left to the likes of you, you’ll never let love blossom.

Head: let love blossom.. funny language you’ve started using.. where did you learn this by the way? Have you been listening to mushy songs of late?

Heart: relax.. not about mushy songs.. it just occurred like that, and seemed relevant!

Head: So Mr. blossoming love, you really think you made anywhere with this pursuit of yours?

Heart: I surely did. The love is on both sides.. but it’s you who comes in between and cause issues.

Head: I can already see what love is doing to you. You’re again blaming me for this as well. Wonderful!

Heart: You don’t trust me.. you think she behaves in all these fashions because she doesn’t love me?

Head: She might love you, but only as long as she doesn’t see your real self.

Heart: Honesty matters head.. haven’t you always been the communication freak? Then how come you let such a huge communication gap occur.. why were the mutual expectations always so unclear?

Head: they weren’t unclear. They’ve always been established.. of course, not pressed upon.

Heart: you think she knows that I’m an attention freak, and possessive to crazy extents and so many things about me.. that I hoped she’d know and appreciate..

Head: well, having known you for all this while, shouldn’t all of this become obvious to her? I mean come on, you insisted that you wanted to spend some time together.. and is this what you call some pleasant time together? Splitting your own personality to resolve your inner conflict?

Heart: what more could I’ve done anyway?

Head: nothing, you couldn’t have done anything. Now let her be, and let yourself be. It’ll get over in a few hours. And all shall be fine.

Heart: I don’t know.. I somehow don’t feel right.

just a break... to be continued!

wanderer

Of the Head and the Heart - II

continuing from the previous post... of the Head Vs. Heart

Head: you’ll never give up.. would you?

Heart: not before you do!

Head: Alright then, go on waiting for her. She’d probably be shopping for last minute things for the long trip. Oblivious to the fact that you’re waiting here.

Heart: Don’t you try to test my patience. I have loads of it. Yes, its tested time and again but well.. I have loads of it. The appetite for love also comes with a storage of patience. You can’t do an unfair trade and be a gainer all the time.

Head: oh yeah.. lets listen to the gyan and theories of the mighty heart!

Heart: Will you stop nagging me? I mean come on! The day I decide to take over, you’ll amount to nothing!

Head: yeah, you might crush me aside and take control and do as you please. Lets see who sticks with you after that!

Heart: Its not like that. I have enough qualities to make someone value me and stick with me, perhaps forever. And then I’m not gonna let you meddle with my affairs.

Head: And we shall wait till eternity for that someone special to come!

Heart: it’ll not be eternity. I’m real, and I have faith in myself.

Head: to hell with your faith. You’ll get stuck on women that have funny sides… trust me. All women do.

Heart: So what if they have funny sides.. don’t I also have YOU??

Head: You’re actually taunting my intellectual capabilities?

Heart: Yeps, you’ve messed in my matters more than necessary and its You that’s responsible for screwing up matters for me!

Head: Wonderful, so now you have found a way to rid yourself of the blame for whatever’s going wrong with the world.

Heart: EVERYthing that goes wrong in the world, is YOUR fault.

Head: So now you’re gonna act all girly and blame it on me eh? Did you actually learn that from one of your lady loves?

Heart: :P I mean it. If it were only left to the heart, the love would’ve been purer, bereft of the reasonability that you keep demanding all the time.

Head: Awe come on, you don’t want to be the traditional lover, not giving enough space to the other person.

Heart: She can have all the space she wants. I only have issues with a few things and she shouldn’t really mind it. I’m not demanding too much am I?

Head: Yeah right, you’ll go on to start telling her what she should wear and what she should not wear, whom she should socialize with and whom she should not, what she should talk to someone and what she shouldn’t.. you’d decide for her what she should do and overload her with all your mighty and lofty ideas… bore her to death.. make her feel claustrophobic and make her want to run away! Thank me that I stopped you from being your real stupid, orthodox and traditional self, else what’s happening today would’ve happened long ago.

Heart: THAT’S exactly why you’re to blame. Had it happened long ago, we would’ve seen real reasons. We would have parted ways long ago and things wouldn’t have reached this far.

Head: You do agree that things were meant to reach all this far, but somehow they did.

Heart: I don’t know! Maybe…

To be continued..

wanderer

Of the Head and the Heart - I

One afternoon on the Delhi airport, a rescheduled Air Sahara flight left me with a lot of time to look around and get inspired.. it’s only now that I’ve been able to put it together! A gloomy, lost face, staring into space, the guy appeared to be talking to himself, looking at time quite frequently. Not that he was in a hurry, but perhaps he was waiting for someone, perhaps resolving an inner conflict. He didn’t have luggage, was perhaps not a passenger himself. My imagination ran wild, bit of mixed experiences, tales of friends and expressions on his face, I created an echo of what was going on in his head.

‘Sometimes, when you have all that you desire, you get out of your way in order to win yourself some dozes of reality which bring you crashing back to the ground. Perhaps a version of the death instinct, which motivates you to bring pain to yourself. Life is running smooth, you’re doing fine. Neutral emotionally, no upswings, or downswings and then you choose to get into something which you’d decided not to, and well, you then curse yourself, or more like laugh at yourself for having done that.

Then you’re at a loss of words to express what you feel, you don’t know what to do. You find it difficult to pass every moment. You want to get up, get out and get going. Go away forever. But you can’t. You have a promise to keep. So you just sit there, watch time go by.

Things haven’t been the best between the two of you, but you didn’t want to leave on a negative note when she was going away for so long. So well, you probably had done exchanging pleasantries over the phone last night, wasn’t it best left there itself? Why did you agree to see her today? Why’re you here now? How many more signs do you want, haven’t you had enough of conflict between the head and the heart?’

Head: So? Happy standing around watching people going by, sharing hugs and goodbyes?

Heart: Well, I hadn’t exactly come in for this!

Head: But that’s what you seem to have gotten.

Heart: It’s ok. Half of me knew that this was coming. But well, the heart can’t really THINK too far. It only BEATS.

Head: Yeah, you actually had started believing in all those romantic fundaes about the loads of affection you have for her and why you should give it one last shot…. Those funnily romantic signals diverting your head!

Heart: Well, they didn’t exactly divert me, they just got me free from your clutches. If I go by your rules, you’ll perhaps never let me laugh, cry, sing, be merry or mourn.. you’ll not let me beat.

Head: Beat, but beat for yourself. Sing, but sing for those who want to listen to you, trust me, there are many. Laugh with those who like to laugh with you! Cry for those, who would probably offer a shoulder… see for yourself what you’ve been doing!

Heart: Well. I am not trying to give justifications or look for answers here. All I know is, my life means beating. And the day I stop beating, I stop living..

Head: So you go on blowing this trumpet of liking the roller coaster to justify every low that comes in, and to explain yourself and justify it as an enjoyable reality of life.. till when mate?

Heart: till I can still survive it! Till I find someone who would be as kind to me as I need them to be!

Head: kindness Huh!

Heart: Awe come on, life isn’t all that hopeless yet.

To be continued..

wanderer

Of Human Bonding

John Donne once wrote, no man can be an island, all to himself. I wonder, it’s been a while since he wrote it, and perhaps with evolution, humans have learnt the art! Sometimes feel like a live example myself! An island, surrounded by a million other islands, all keeping to themselves, not their blooming flora but their gloomy thorns.

Sometimes, I wonder what good technology has done us! It’s given us new ways to be in touch with the people far away but in some ways disconnected us from the people right next to us. The observation strengthens further when I travel by the elite metro train everyday to work. Several people around would be conveniently self occupied with the radios/music players within their cell phones, somewhat disconnected from their immediate surroundings. I once happened to share a cycle rickshaw with an old gentleman, and was myself islanded with my mp3 player at that time. A few hundred meters down the road, it almost felt insolent to be listening to music in that situation. I took it off, didn’t manage to make much conversation but at least would have seemed less of an uncaring high flying modern day youth!

Not that my concern or a conversation in a five minute ride would change many things for someone, but somehow the whole thing felt a bit disconcerting. So while we didn’t quite learn smiling and waving to strangers on the street from the westerners, the signs of a growing need for individuality have now begun to establish their place here as well. Wonder if that’s also accompanied by a newfound sense of loneliness in the middle of a sea of familiar faces. Or are we just alone, but not lonely yet!

The means of communication have connected us far and wide, and led to the birth of a whole new breed of relationships. Online social networking has played a role in many a friendship, date and even marriage. (last I heard was an extra marital affair and a subsequent murder) but is it more like we disconnecting ourselves from our immediate surroundings and looking for a human bond in the world of strangers on the internet?

It’s turned to become my own way of being, inspired from the Tenessee William’s ‘streetcar named desire’ to have depended on the kindness of strangers and then eventually, with Munna’s inspiration, to be the kind stranger myself!

Have been evolving and learning new meanings of human bonds as I go on meeting more strangers. What relationships might mean, what they might not mean. Have shared bonds that have lasted some passing moments on a bus stand or a railway station or an airport.. some through the course of the journey.. some just for the duration of an exchanged smile.. some for a few weeks.. some months.. some years.. and some.. which will last a lifetime! They’ve each affected and shaped me, and were important in their own ways!

Having internalized objectivism to a good deal, the whole concept of social needs, dependencies and bonding intrigued me for a while. I would apply too much of my head into anything and everything. And then a little knowledge of psychology, gathered from sources including coffee table books, combined with a bit of dispassion learnt from the Geeta, made a heady cocktail and for a long time I would pride myself on being an island who was capable of handling and resolving all his issues himself.

Realized it at some departing times, with people who’ve been really close that the prided stoicism has actually become a part of me now! I don’t feel too strongly emotional about most things.

In a way, it’s helped me tide over some otherwise difficult situations but I wonder if this is also reducing my capacity to feel the human bond, or actually diminishing my feel and experience of being a human and being alive. I’d like to believe otherwise, because now I can be free. (a lot can be elaborated about this, but keep that for a personal conversation, not a blog)

Never mind, as a habit, I apply too much of a head to everything!

Do tell me if it’s just me or is there someone else who’s felt pulled in different directions by the head and the heart.. and suffered because of it. Of course, it doesn’t matter who you are, coz I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Not taking anything away from my most cherished friends and family, I’m an island and it’s my own doing. I’ve enjoyed being one. It’s yet another paradox when I like to refer myself as a wandering sailor who keeps anchoring for short durations on several islands. However, if you see closely, there’s a convergence.. the whole sequence of meeting and bonding with strangers.. and still not being held back but moving on.

May the insanity and the wanderings never leave me! Though it would be good to someday anchor on an island! Forever.

Wanderer

PS. Do let me know if the above makes any sense to you. Upon review, it didn't make much sense to me but editing would mean complete rewriting, so I gave up on myself!

The Joys of Sadism

Whoever thought that sadism was a vice perhaps didn’t comprehensively look at all of the many interesting aspects of it.

There might be a crude form which would find its ally in black humor where you laugh at someone’s misery. But I’m talking of a different kind of sadism here. The one that I would enjoy professing. I do have to give it up sometimes, for the fear of annoying someone important, or the fear of being misunderstood as a cold beast (which I sometimes am!)

For a start, would it be annoying if you’re all so excited about something and in the same excited state go to a close person, or call him up in order to tell him about what’s happened and he turns a cold shoulder, suddenly making you pull your hair and go mad at him because he’s not sharing your excitement. Wait a couple of moments.

I’m that friend and I’m enjoying every moment of this madness of yours. Of course, cutting the sadistic enjoyment short, I’d soon get back to you and ask what’s happened and be as cheered and excited about it as you. But next time you call me up and are exuberant about ‘You know WHAT?’ be prepared for my cold shoulder, lest you end up cursing me and deciding to not talk to me ever again.

The problem with sadism is, not everyone is able to appreciate it, and some people take offence or as a sign of distance in the relationship. So, tread cautiously for it’s not for the world and its cousin to be able to enjoy the pleasures of sadism.

Then, there’s something else too. That’s a positive thing, requires effort and is definitely going to reward you well, of course, if you enjoy your adversaries’ chagrin. There’d be situations when things will frustrate you, arguments will blow your head and people’s behavior would annoy you into potentially reacting rather violently. You really couldn’t care about the virtues of managing your anger at that moment and blow the top.

This precisely is what your adversaries wanted. While angry, its likely that you’ll end up behaving in the not-the-best of fashions, get emotionally charged up and utter something you might regret later or give them some reason to be able to complain about you or to get back at you. You might end up hurting some of your close ones and regret that later!

Now, for a while I haven’t had any real adversaries, so I thought I’d create one. So I personified ‘anger’ and created it as a virtual adversary for myself. Now, everytime, things go wrong or frustrate me and tend to get on my nerves, I just see this beast called ‘Anger’ standing around the corner and laughing at my misery and the fact that I’ll goof up bigtime by blowing my top. Then the supreme sadist in me takes control and the anger is lost.

This is no laughter therapy that would calm Dr. Asthana down after Munna’s antics but just simple theories of Sadism.

I could perhaps write further on the glory of sadism, but later!

Wanderer

Trophies of the Mind!

From the top of the head, the first impression that a ‘mental trophy’ might give would be pretty vague I guess. That’s what it was to me at least, when I heard it for the first time on an adventure show on the TV, when a guy was talking about his experience at skydiving.

In his words, it’s not something you can take home with yourself and give to your mom, or describe to someone, the feeling that goes through your head while free falling is a mental trophy!

Coming to think of it, it’s fairly usual for perhaps all of us to look for these mental trophies. Adventure sport, a way to outfox your fears and get the adrenaline to gush through your veins has been for long a way to break the mental barriers.

A recent news item I came across on the web spoke of something more interesting. A IIT JEE coaching institute organized an entrance test that included the student’s baptism by fire, literally so. The students were made to walk through a bed of burning coal. Most would agree figuratively that preparing for IIT is no less than a firewalk (ok, to be honest, it really isn’t that bad) but literarily? It provoked intense reactions from a lot of the elite and educated, as it caused an instant recollection of the inhuman instance from our mythological tale Ramayana, when the purity personified, Seeta’s was made to walk through fire to prove her truthfulness.

A little research and I figured that this walk on burning coals, is used across the world as a motivation exercise by several reputed organizations. In the words of a firewalking student, ‘If I can do this, I can do anything, even crack JEE.’

Of course, walking on fire wouldn’t have given him the conceptual understanding of permutations and probabilities or the dynamics of rolling motion, but it perhaps did instill confidence in his own capabilities that would now help him outdo his expected performances. In a way, the young boy can now take anything in his stride, or at least attempt to do so.

The knowledge that a casual carefree walk on coal is scientifically harmless was quite a discovery and it reflected one more technically correct facet of the Indian superstitious test of truthfulness. The one who’s true at heart must walk fearless and confident and he’ll pass unharmed. The one who hesitates is the one who falters and thus is caught.

Sometimes an act of daring like a bungee jump or a skydive or a firewalk might give you a mental trophy, but beyond that it’s our own experiences in course of routine life that impact us in strong ways and the mind and the soul feel rewarded. It might be something like accomplishment of a psychological task, being able to calmly resolve a matter that might have led to bitterness, getting over your our own complacency and inculcating the disciplining habits that you’ve always wanted to, controlling your anger in that heated moment and getting over the situation, a word of acknowledgement from your boss, getting your recommendations incorporated, or being able to swiftly grow out of it and move on beyond a failed relationship or to stand by truth and be vindicated.

Eventually, the confidence in your ability to DO something, or in your capability to stop yourself from doing something, is nothing but a collection of these mental trophies- your past experiences where you did succeed and which strengthened your belief in yourself.

In a miniscule version of these trophies, we get kicks out of doing teenie weenie things around ourselves. Some of them might be notorious acts as pulling a colleague’s leg or pulling a prank on a bunch of friends or causing someone some minor embarrassment, having someone wait on you etc. But hey, there are positive ways too to get these kicks, like perhaps managing to put a baby to sleep, or to get a smile on the face of a street kid, or to help someone in need, or giving someone some little pleasures while just being a kind stranger!

Whatever my own mood or situation might be, these kicks are what keep me going.

Be it the trophies or the kicks, they could do wonders with your mood and your self concept if you treat them rightly. The best part is, they don’t cost a thing and you can’t buy them off a superstore shelf.

So figure out a trophy and till then, get yourself some kicks today, put a nasty remark about my ‘gyaan’ filled blog maybe J

I get a kick out of this!

wanderer

An Ode to Melancholy

The title is inspired by a John Keats poem, the painting on the left is titled 'Life's toying with Me' and this ode is basically inspired by a few friends who've been having tough time in life. Somehow, when one thing goes wrong, everything else has to fall apart too at the same time. Wonder if it's incidental for these three people, or it's actually the love stories, or the anguish contained in their failure that makes life a mess for so many of us.

Your work is monotonous and you hate it, all the more in this mood of yours. The social relations seem like a burden to carry on. Everything around seems pale, you don't feel you have the energy to even attempt to look at the brighther side of things. There is a lot that you go through, in terms of the multitude of emotions, just about everyone of us has had his or her moments. Some might, for a moment, even contemplated taking the easy way out, just giving it all up. But that's not the solution, there are people who care for you and for whom you care. and then life doesn't come so cheap!

They live with it, with lost hope but still hoping to see light at the end of the tunnel.. and eventually they do see it. Some, do give up in between, just because they couldn't bear it any longer. The gloom had set in too deeply for them to be able to survive it.

Some show it, some hide it behind a smile.

Some people, as they come out of it, would be afraid of facing anything similar in future and shut themselves up from any encounter to the whole set of experiences. They lose faith in the goodness of life, become cynical or supremely skeptical. They spend their lifetimes managing their vulnerabilities and trying to run away.

There's another set, the one that emerges stronger from this melancholy, with their spirits intact and in fact grown stronger. They learn their lessons in their own hard ways. But now that they've learnt it, they emerge confident of being able to handle similar things, and perhaps bigger ones if they're to challenge them in future.


Here's an ode to Melancholy, that's what makes life complete! A roller coaster wouldn't be fun enough if it all it had were highs!

Its for you to enjoy the fall, having full faith that you'll rise again.


Cheers!

wanderer

Main, meri Hindi aur Budget!

It all started with the notice by the External Relations secretary that CNN IBN was interested in coming to campus to interview some students about their expectations with the budget.

Ok, full enthu, I sent in the expression of Interest!

Now, the programme is going to be a live telecast and to be shot today evening at 8:30. Since the morning, I'm having a slightly problematic time figuring out not what I'm going to say... but how i'm going to say it!

No retakes allowed and the programme is in Hindi!

arthaat, budget se junta ki ummeedon ka sawaal hai! FBT par khaas nazar daalne par samajh aata hai ki is kshetra mein aur pardarshita ki zaroorat hai. Shiksha aur Swasthya par vishesh........

gosh.. and i'm going crazy figuing out the hindi translations of the word like attention, particularly and all of that!

Made me wonder about all the so called pride in the mother tongue, the debate on the several online groups about the decreasing usage and thus respect in the colloquial conversations. I used to think that its not going to be so difficult to speak a few sentences in hindi, but now that i try to put my opinion on the budget over here, its' requiring me to translate my thoughts in english to hindi and map them with the appropriate words, before I utter them!

But then again, does it make me any less proud as an Indian? More insulting is the usage of the word 'hindi' in the the country colloquia to indicate a 'chop' or an 'insult' or an 'embarrassment'. I might make a fool of myself, but hindi ki hindi nahin karoonga!

Ok..confusion! arthaat bhram! ya phir kuchh aur! sochna hoga! vichaar karna hoga!

khanabadosh!
( i guess urdu is allowed!)

That's me for you!

Going through some archives, I found a personality test result that I'd saved a few months back on my computer. To test my consistency and the credibility of the test, I took the whole thing again.. (ok.. m not vella, it's a matter of a few mins) and i wonder whether i should be suprized or not.. but the results came out the same! (except a little bit here and there on my mysticism or hatred of authority)

I'm still as messy as ever :) and I'm still as calm as ever! You have to believe me here.. coz i really can't manipulate the results of a psycho test.. (of course, I'd publish only those that i like :-) )

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 60% Stability |||||||||||||||||| 76% Orderliness |||||| 30% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63% Intellectual |||||||||||| 43% Mystical |||||||||||||||| 63% Artistic |||||||||||| 50% Religious |||||||||||||||| 70% Hedonism |||||||||| 36% Materialism |||||||||||||| 56% Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 63% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Work ethic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 63% Need to dominate |||||||||||||| 56% Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63% Avoidant |||||||||| 36% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70% Wealth |||||||||||| 50% Dependency |||||| 23% Change averse |||| 16% Cautiousness |||||| 30% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63% Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 63% Peter pan complex |||| 16% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Physical Fitness |||||||||| 37% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Paranoia |||||| 23% Vanity |||||||||||||| 56% Hypersensitivity |||| 16% Female cliche |||||| 23%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Trait Snapshot- Multiple shades of my personality!
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated , anti-authority,attracted to the counter culture

-wanderer

Power play.. and morality?

It started in the form of a discussion about my building unhappiness over the hegemonistic American policies which were being justified as power play by an International Relations student friend of mine.

Trying to take a neutral perspective, standing out of the Third World that I'm in, perhaps it makes some sense. There's nothing wrong with seeking power and it's perfectly legitimate for the US to use it's existing power to not let anyone else come up to that level and whatever it's doing at the WTO or the imposed liberalization via the World Bank and the IMF. Perhaps India behaves similarly with the nations that fall short of its might. Perhaps the game is all about rising at the cost of others and bargain as hard as you can on all the fields you're playing on! Now, whether the field is levelled or not, is not your problem, is it?

Exaggerated stress on competition or the high stakes are then going to encourage non-co operative behavior and taking it as a zero sum game, US would need to burn the bridges behind itself so no one else can ever catch up! Isn't that what's happening when the developing countries are being made to abandon the paths to growth that their counterparts in the first world had grown with? We're to think about the environment, the ecology and the sustainability when the whole west grew at its cost, and brought it to the state of today. Hypocrisy at its demonstrated best.

But it would perhaps not be wise to play the kid and be adamant on following the same routes, because eventually, all of us are equal stakeholders in the disaster if that were to happen.

Whoever nursed the illusions of the joys of fair competition is perhaps bound to perish and so even the most naive of game theorists would account for opportunistic behavior by humans wherever they stood to gain something. That's why economists rejected the possibility of cartelization by firms to increase their collective might! There would always be a temporary incentive to cheat and thus disrupt the whole equilibrium. It then makes sense for a Pakistan to side with the US rather than look for deeper alliances with it's other third world partners.

Coming back to the point, it is evident that in reality, everywhere, the powerful player is taking advantage of its power and growing further, or at least retaining its current level, at the cost of the ones below it. That's international politico-economics, and that's hardcore corporate opportunistic competitive behavior.. perhaps even the domestic politics.. or even interpersonal relationships.

For a moment, I'm inclined to look at the humane side of it, when Americans subsidize farm products and europeans impose tariffs on asian milk products. Is the American fatso enjoying the extra cheese burger at the cost of a starving Indian farmer? Is it fair of a first world country to be still bargaining unequal terms with countries that are yet to attain food security? or the ones which are still unable to keep their entire populations healthy and fed?

The question of survival comes into the picture, and perhaps nature has designed it this way... the best 'race' to survive and everyone else to perish.. if they couldn't sustain themselves, they had no right to survive anyway. So when thousands of animal species were going extinct over the past millions of years, they were subject to the same rule of natural selection as today's sudanese kid or vidharbha farmer! So why the sympathy? Is it counter-rational to think of development in a manner that takes the entire humankind forward together and not increase the disparities even further?

Ayn Rand got me convinced with her works that contradictions do not exist, and if I find them, I need to reassess my premises. It got me thinking about the sustainability of the current modes of development. Can the voices of dissent be silenced by use of force? and how does it augur for the future of the world?

Can Al Qaeda, or the fundamental dissent to Western Hegemony be wiped out by American Weaponry? isn't it leading to further discontent, in some cases, even in the American Population?

What about the naxalite movement in India?

The demand for reservation in the private sector in India?

Will the voices of dissent die down by the natural principles or will they take humanity down with them, like a phoenix falling to ashes before it can rise again!

Wherever there's prolonged inequality and thus percieved misuse of power or an unequal sharing, the situation is not going to be in a stable equilibrium. Terrorist attacks, or naxalite bombings, on-street protests for private sector reservations, or the anti-development protests in haldia/singur in WB.....

All are manifestations of the same thing -the dissent, dissent to prolonged suppression.. to a refusal to attain something deserved and cherised....

What remains to be seen is, whether we are inclined to take proactive action or be fence sitters
and watch the show.. till it degrades to the need of civil wars and massive unrest.

Wise men around the world are talking of inclusive growth for the sustainability of humanity itself, but then it might have a conflict of interest with the short term interests or lobbies of several currently powerful stakeholders!

Is it time yet to find a role for yourself to play and join the crusade to save humanity? Any takers?

All of the above, are top of the mind thoughts, unresearched pespectives.. only to initiate myself and some othres around me into the whole subject matter.. coz I now endup seeing it all around me.... the power play.. even in interpersonal relationships.. mismatch of dependencies causes a lot of trouble!

relate.. connect.. and find the convergence.. remember.. Contradictions do not exist!

Wanderer

Me and Poetry?

never realized this....

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery...Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

yes.. i've never written a poem! and certainly would like to believe what this test says!

wanderer