Entrepreneurship.. over a glass of Wine!

Having worked in the area of entrepreneurship for several years now.. it has begun to clear out some ideas in my mind.. and having come this far, I find myself behaving naturally as an advocate of entrepreneurship and accordingly questioning the fears that normally scare people from taking the risks.. the most primary question being what they stand to risk in the first place.

The work background got me an easy entry to the entrepreneurship initiatives on campus, and as a rather grand welcome to a relatively inactive club, we had an invitation to an 'entrepreneurship' award ceremony at a prestigious hotel, to be followed by dinner and drinks! Obviously, I jumped at the opportunity and got lucky to be in the selected few!

Alright, so sitting in the ballroom of a five (or maybe seven) star hotel, we're looking at this young lady, playing the MC(master of ceremony of course), who, in her own attempts to make the evening light and lively, couldn't help cracking really sad jokes! So we have the awards for the different categories announced, amidst sounds of claps, the feats of each entrepreneur are highlighted and the spirit of entrepreneurship glorified!

Next, was a panel discussion on the hardships faced by the awardees in their own lines of work and I suddenly noticed around myself that the chairs were getting empty fast! and yes, I rightly guessed, they'd started serving the drinks in the dining hall! Awright, so convincing myself that the food and drinks really were the reason i'd gone there, I dragged myself away from the tales of entrepreneurial valor!

High on some vodka and with a glass of wine, I gathered enough courage, to get into a discussion (more like a debate) with a senior. Being a nice guy that he was, he appreciated the reasoning and we got on to talking about entrepreneurship over wine! We were talking something about the lack of startup enthusiasts at our place, to which he(the senior) remarked that it was stupid to expect people to think of entrepreneurship when the stakes were so high. By high stakes, he meant the cushy and really well paying jobs that even an average graduate from our b school was likely to get!

Ok.. this was more than what the entrepreneurship advocate in me needed to wake up

Carefree that I was, rebutted saying that it had actually become easier for us to do what we really wanted! But hey, wait, the drink hadn't gone to my head so I did substantiate- We think that the US has a better support system for entrepreneurship because if you fail, the social security will take care of you.. while on the contrary..in India, you might have trouble making ends meet. If social security can be taken for a cushion, then our degree should be a rather much thicker cushion because even if we spend a couple of yearsand still fail at our stints, the degree stays with us and will anyday get us a job which will afford us much more than what we need to survive!

He ended up agreeing in principle, but of course, I don't expect to have changed his mindset over a light dinner time chat!

Beyond five star hotels, this work gets you to meet really good people, in my case, it was the Chief of TiE (The IndUs Entrepreneurs) Kolkata. A grad from MIT, he was happy to notice our spirit with regard to entrepreneursihp activities on campus, and presenting my view as a b school student, I mentioned that having competed with lakhs of people to have gotten here, it really doesn’t seem right to be competing with the same people again in the job market! We ought to do better! Of course, this came from the sarcastic appreciative remarks by Sh. Govindacharya, about a reputed b school that selected a few of the thousand students that applied, and got them all placed before their degree was completed! Of course, what good has an institute done if it has only made employees out of the brightest in the country! The TiE guy, of course Couldn't Agree More!

A recent class discussion in Behavioral Sciences pointed to a perspective on eship, which other people might have found banal, but was a new line of thought for me. Whoever can't find a job, sets up a factory and becomes an entrepreneur. At the base of it was probably the application of Douglas McGregor's Theory X that no one really wants to work hard, everyone wants to live off someone else's efforts and thus have the easy way by getting a salary and not grinding themselves on the entrepreneurial line!

Being the selective perceiver that I am, I chose to note his acknowledgement that entrepreneurship is tough! Though, taking the whole thing in perspective, we, at the class, derided eship from its usually virtuous position to the last resort of people who're useless enough to not be able to find a job anywhere!

Given the current trends, I would still like to believe that this is not the more popular perspective, as 'opting out of placements' is still glamorous and if no one else, at least the media will hold you dear, even if for a short while!

Guess, I'd be happy setting up an orkut community by the name of 'Placement Chuckers'.. make it a totally glamorous cult.. you know.. you make a trendy statement by wanting to be an entrepreneur.. it's a cult meant for a limited few, the ones with the proverbial heart of a man...

But then, we need to make stronger statements than this, in order to actually make a difference to the perception and reality of entrepreneurship in our premier schools and further in our society!

Wanderer

What about the other little 'Princes'?

Anyone who is even slightly connected with the world, via any channels of communication would know of the heroic rescue of six year old 'Prince' from a pit. An episode which made thousands of people stick to their TV screens.. and praying to their respective gods!

The PMO issued a statement.. regarding the PM's blessings to 'prince'

Sonia Gandhi blessed him.

Wishes and prayers flowed from across the world.. (thanks to the outreach of media.. via TV and internet)

TV channels found a full time TRP gainer in this prince..

Zee news, in a sudden spur of philanthrophy, declared that they'd sponsor his entire education

some Sobha foundation chose its moment to rise to fame.. gave the child one lakh rupees

and lots of other things ensued!

I have nothing against this prince.. myself prayed for his safety.. but thinking of all the other 'princes' who miss out on this attention from the media.. or from anyone else.. i guess they would all be praying that they fall into a well.. coz otherwise.. their deaths.. due to malaria.... dengue.. malnutrition.. starvation have become too commonplace to draw any media attention or to win them as much as a two time meal.. let alone a life time scholarship!

Who do we expect.. will bring a change?

The Media.. by bringing more serious issues to light.. and growing beyond sensationalism?

The PM... leave him.. he's too busy listening to the thousand people he needs to obey!

Sonia Gandhi.. ? as if she doesn't know all of this already..

The kind donors.. asking them to consider donating to larger causes as well?

I hope all of those ghar ke chiraag.. jo bachpan mein hi bujh jaate hain... will find their own ways to draw attention.. and become saleable to the world.. and boost TRPs.. so they'll be on prime time national television.. and finally get their due!

wanderer

Indian Youth!

Our course in behavioral sciences has a section on the Indian Youth! A class discussion was to follow a survey about the general mentality of the people out here. Some people volunteered to conduct a survey and anchor the discussion which was held today in class!

What was interesting about the entire exercise was that inspite of the overt differences, it turns out that we’re all in the same boat! Much as we feel lonely in this quest of seeking our own identity and identifying our desires and goals, just about everyone is on a similar voyage of his own. Just about everyone is confused about his value systems, about what he really wants to do in life, about where to draw a line when talking of ethics.. just about everything and just about everyone!

And what makes it all the more fascinating is that we’re actually being made to ask ourselves such questions, thanks to our first term course in behavioral sciences and more importantly, thanks to our professor who’s taking a keen interest in making us see sense in what we’re trying to pursue and whether we are making our choices by ourselves or are we allowing life to happen to us.

Yes, we as sons and daughters often get into becoming the agents to fulfilling the unfinished dreams and agendas of our parents. And in this process, at times, we end up forgetting what we really wanted to do. A lot of us complain about our parental pressure and expectations regarding our career and that they’ve pushed us into doing things that we probably didn’t really want to do ourselves. The tales of some cousin who’s doing well after going to an IIT and an IIM, which was possibly intended to inspire us, but ended up creating a latent sense of resentment within us! And we gave in to the alleged pressure and took a direction shown by our parents.

But then hey, to what extents are we going to keep on blaming our parents or someone else for whatever’s happening to us!

An interesting perspective that was shown today, suggested that we look within and ask ourselves if we’re playing the blame game by putting it onto our parents that they don’t let us take initiatives while we’re too scared of doing any experimenting ourselves. Well.. parents have had their share of control on our lives but has it always been so restrictive that we and our desires were necessarily suppressed? Or do we happily wallow in self pity by dumping the cause of all our unfulfilled desires on to our parents, or more generally to the society/system/people around us?

Someone said that a genuine want comes out of an earlier feeling of deprivation and most people here haven’t faced much of deprivation at least in the economic sense of it and hence, we do not feel very strongly about anything as such. Yeah, maybe the constraints on the previous generation were different and maybe they spent a major portion of their lives to ensure a financially secure future and to ensure us the basic comforts of life. However, the horizon has indeed broadened for us and having an economic security has essentially brought us in a position of looking beyond money.. and that’s probably why we have the time and the energy for asking the questions about what we’re seeking out of life!

Is there a fundamental issue with the circumstances? In the setting of a realtively small city(given my humble origins), if someone says that he’s studying psychology at DU.. (even at the best college) or if he’s studying engineering at IIT Bombay - you might need to think if they be taken differently or in the same manner. But for me, in spite of all my respect for the teaching quality at the DU and other good colleges, I’m going to have to admit that it will not be the same! It doesn’t need too much of thinking then to see that this is where the problem of lack of choices with academics starts. We simply do not hold other streams of education on the same pedestal that we’ve placed engineering and a subsequent management course.

Probably this is what someone meant when they talked about the cheap philosophy of demand and supply that seems to be governing education in India. The best paid jobs come to these people and so the expected economic benefit after an engineering has more than its share of influence on the decisions of young people when they’re choosing their careers. To an extent, the previous generation had faced crises with their financials and subsequently, their need for a financially secure future has rubbed on to us as well! They expect us to do what they think is in our best interests, and you really can’t blame them if their choices are guided by the potential finacial security that a career path is providing.

And there’s nothing wrong with pursuing money either, the question only is that are we doing it out of our conscious choice or are we being made to do it for someone else! What is the cost? The stakes are still considered very high when someone is to leave a cushy job to become an entrepreneur! It’s mighty difficult to leave something in hand for something that’s not even concrete yet. And we start of talking about the opportunity costs that make any such decision virtually impossible to make. There are people who have defied this rule but somehow, in our culture, the value of pursuing your own dreams and the possible subsequent satisfaction has never been monetized and hence the odds are always stacked against your pursuit of your passion because it might not be considered economically viable!

We don’t need to see anything wrong with our inherent desire to want more of everything, including material wealth on the one side and the relationships/satisfaction and other intangibles on the other side. The problem only arises because we only have 24 hours in a day and only one life to live! Its this allocation of the scarcest resource called the moments of our life that require us to study the trade offs and choices that we’re making.

After all, everyone of us finally wants to look back from the deathbed and see a life well lived!

Yes.. it takes courage… you need to ask yourself the difficult questions about whether you’re allowing yourself to go with the flow and not against it because you simply want to have the easy way in life.. and in this process you also find reasons and excuses to justify it to the world.. and often to yourself.. that it’s your circumstances in terms of parents or society or whatever that are requiring you to behave in a particular manner and you can’t seem to be able to break the mould and do what you really want!

The question still boils down to asking ourselves if we know what we really want in life! If you’re clear on that, and the desire is strong enough.. nothing is capable of holding you back..!

Finally..it’s upto you!

More Later!

Wanderer

Living a Dream... the genesis...

It's been on my mind.. for a lot of time... to pen down my thoughts as a young man facing the dilemma that's life... from the time i was at IIT.. I wanted to write a book about the existential angst that faces the young boy and girl of today.. the immense amount of choices.. the apparent conflicts.. the loss of age old principles... the desire and yet the incapability to get away from the rat race.. to do what you want to do in life.. to LIVE A DREAM..

Procrastination.. which is second nature to most of us.. has been with me as well.. but it had to start somewhere.. and somehow.. and I happened to find this sheet of paper on which I'd penned down my own angst sitting on the last bench of a lecture at IIT... some years back.. thought it might be an appropriate thing to start with.

Questioning oneself and Providence.. isn't this where it starts??

Here we go!

I know I’m looking for something but I can’t find it. The reason for that is the fact that I’m not very clear about what I really want. I’m more than willing to go overboard and outta my way to pursue my passion but what’s my passion?

Nothing seems to amuse me. The disconcerting monotony seems to be taking a toll on my energy and enthusiasm. I’m seeking an answer to the most fundamental question-Why do I live? So is this a phase of depression looming over me? Or am I heading towards the anhedonic school of stoicism? I like to call myself a workaholic and a lazy lump at the same time and have actually proved both of these. I want to do something that keeps me so busy that I have no time to think about myself and about the depressing monotony of life, be always short of sleep so I don’t lie on the best without rather heavy eyelids and a wrecked body.

Is it that my passion is right before me and I can’t identify it or should I hope to embark upon something someday which would take away my anhedonia. In the same pursuit, I’ve started so many things, but never really went too far with any of them.

Am I living a life someone would be proud to look back at? What is the thing I’m doing that I’ll be remembered for? Or even I’d have some sense of accomplishment for? From where do I derive a sense of satisfactionand contentment which would give me enough energy and enthusiasm to go on.

I may or may not like, but the show must go on.. so why not play a role in the show and make it a worthwhile attempt!

And then I’m reminded of Alice… the one in wonderland……

'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'

'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

'I don't much care where --' said Alice.

'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.'

'--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.

~ Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Now, I don't know where it's going to head..but usually I'm pretty much capable of philosophising to no end.. about the 'one life' and why you need to 'live it to the full'.

Wham! and REALITY hits you!

Life strikes you in the most stark of ways. As usual on 11th july evening.. I doze off while reading some course material.. wake up.. head for dinner and the TV says that seven bomb blasts have ripped apart the western line railways in Bombay. As it is you’re on a high sensitivity and not entirely conscious right after you wake up and I’m struck with this piece of news which strikes me from different directions and I’m left with some question marks facing me..

No.. I’m not cursing the terrorists who did it.. nor am I questioning why they did it! In my attempt to keep my faith in the goodness of a normal human, I’ve convinced myself that when a terrorist does a dastardly act of this magnitude, he’s not doing it out of cruelty, he’s doing it out of a supreme conviction that it is a sacrifice which would serve a greater cause. Terrorists aren’t brutal per se, but they’re brainwashed into believing that this is the only way to reach a goal that’s quite dear to them! Rehan Qadri, or Aamir Khan in Fanaa, was in a similar disposition wasn’t he!

Anyway, NO, this wasn’t the question that faced me.. the question had to do with the impermanence of life.. about the fact that you have absolutely no control as to when you’ll be done with your role on this planet and be embraced by the supreme self (at least that’s how they humor kids who ask about their dead parents). I was struck with the helplessness of an individual against death, which might catch up with him anytime.. anywhere. Among the dead were diamond merchants, probably returning happy after a good day’s trade, there were fathers, mothers, children……….. with a lot of hopes.. dreams..with a lot of expectations from life.. with a lot of life inside them..

and what did it take to just destroy and totally devastate all of it?

Mumbai returned back to normalcy, so did I… guess the high frequency of such shocks has really improved our shock absorbing capacities… 200 dead.. over 700 injured.. and it doesn’t cause us to writhe in our seats anymore! But some lives are impacted… forever! For someone who has been a close witness to the blasts and the consequences.. the images will haunt him for a lot of time to come! Here’s a friend… who’s asking all the innocent questions… having been a rather close witness herself!

angel : u thr?
Wanderer: hi…
Wanderer: how’s you?
angel : hey..
angel : ma bst frndz dad xpired in da blast
angel : had been wit hm da whle day..
angel : ystrdy
Wanderer: Oh...
Wanderer: shit!
Wanderer: sad yaar!!
angel : searchin his body
Wanderer: gosh
angel : yaar..i ws da only person who met his father dat day..
.

.

angel : n had 2 identify da body
angel : coz only i knew his clothes
Wanderer: my god
angel : actlly da body had no face so we had 2 jst rely
Wanderer: as in.. the head was gone?
angel : on da clthes n his watch
Wanderer: on the clothes..
Wanderer: man... that can be so painful
angel : n since only i knw
angel : wot he ws wearin..i had 2 identify his body 4rm seventy
angel : odd bodies
Wanderer: that takes a lot of strength yaar .. to go around in the middle of so many bodies

angel : it ws da most painful moment of my life

Wanderer: r u ok?

angel : no..
angel : not yet..
angel : cant get ova it

angel : i met him yaar
angel : jst hrs b4

Wanderer: i was kinda struck.. when i saw the news.. about the impermanence of life!
Wanderer: as in.. not thinking about the virute or vice of the terrorists..
Wanderer: but about how helpless we really are!
Wanderer: it'll take you some time
Wanderer: and when you've come face to face with such a thing, it'll shakes u up totally

angel : how can u dey do dat..
angel : how cn 1 live wit da

angel : fact dat u hve killd more dan 200 pple

Wanderer: look dear..... for the ones who have done it.. it's probably a cause of celebration.. the success for their cause

angel : i neva eva

angel : wnt 2 da hospitalz..

angel : coz im really scared of blood
angel : n i neva i ma life xpectd..
angel : i'll hve 2 do dis..
angel : n dat 2 4 uncle yaaar..
angel : he was a goodman

Wanderer: surely he was!
angel : true...neva eva did nethng wrng
angel : he ws da GM of railwys

Wanderer: the bomb doesn't distinguish yaar... between good and bad ppl ..and neither does death

angel : n still such a simple person
angel : but y him?
angel : no yar
angel : he didnt deserve it
Wanderer: the other 199 ppl must've been good ppl as well yaar.. no one deserved to die in a bomb blast of this kind, no human deserves that!

angel : yaar ma frnd is so childish
angel : yaar
angel : i hv seen pple in piecs

Wanderer: its tough coming to terms with reality when it stares you in the face!

angel : ..pple cryin..

angel : lost hope yaar.
angel : totally
angel : no yaar.
angel : its not fair

Wanderer: and it's really cruel!

Wanderer: look dear..

angel : ya?

Wanderer: take care yaar...

Wanderer: you'll take time to get over it
Wanderer: but be strong
Wanderer: and anytime you feel like talking i'm always there!

angel : ya..
Wanderer: maybe we can try talking it out
Wanderer: so you can get over it
Wanderer: because eventually you have to learn to live with it!

Wanderer: and so does he.. your friend
angel : humm..
angel : ya he is quiet okk, he did not c nethng
angel : it was best 4 him

Wanderer: oh... but he's lost his father my dear!
angel : ha..
Wanderer: the shock is bad enough!
Wanderer: those images will haunt you for a lot of time to come
Wanderer: coz things like this shake you from inside
Wanderer: but you still have to go on!

angel : i cund sleep ystrdy
angel : it ws horrifyin
Wanderer: so take care.. and be strong!
angel : thnks

angel : u tc 2

angel : sorry 2 vent out all this

Wanderer: it's ok
Wanderer: what are friends for!
angel : ya..

Wanderer: and if you feel like talking again...
Wanderer: don't hesitate

angel : atlst datz da only thng u cn live 4!

Wanderer: life goes on my dear.. it doesn't stop!

angel : ya..still whr is hope wen u need it

angel : whr is god?

Wanderer: it's within you
Wanderer: He's within you
Wanderer: there really isn't anything you can look at.. to get strenght
Wanderer: you gotta look at yourself and within

Wanderer: to come to terms with reality
Wanderer: and still go on in life!
Wanderer: don't lose hope

angel : im shattered

Wanderer: and don't let the ppl around you lose hope
angel : ya..
angel : i wll b fine

I’d been wanting to talk on the phone.. without knowing what I’m gonna say.. but I did call.. probably only to listen…. Listen to the goriness of the entire thing.. about the lists of injured and photos of the dead that you have to explore and search in.. constantly hoping that you don’t find the body among the dead but the name in the list of injured.. about pieces of bodies being brought together to become somewhat identifiable.. about bodies needing to be identified by the clothes.. the head being gone.. about a wrist watch that was stuck at 6:30, the time of the blast.. about the shattering feeling and the denial when you do locate the picture of body marked with number 8 on its chest and identify it as the body of your loved one……

And she questioned if human life didn’t have any value.. how could someone do that… and told about the worst part -her having interacted with him on the same morning.. and the difficult to accept fact that he was no more! About his unusual kindness and ashirwaad for her further studies.. about the GM of railways.. who gave his life to the railways and died in the rail as well!
Knowing that no consolations would work at this time… wasn’t much I could do.. she tried to divert.. by asking about me.. again.. I didn’t have much to say.. and then the phone conked….. so I checked online again…

Wanderer: u there?
angel : ya,,
angel : but mi goin..
Wanderer: couldn't hear you on the phone
Wanderer: ok
Wanderer: take care
Wanderer: and anytime you wanna talk
angel : i thnk da cll gt dicnnctd
Wanderer: gimme a call.. or see me here
Wanderer: yeah
angel : ya
Wanderer: take care
angel : ya
angel : tata

what do i say about my state of mind after this?

ignorance is bliss.. probably rightly so...

still puzzled with the nature of life!

wanderer

In Defense of Love !

To an urban reader belonging from the 21st century, the familial opposition to inter-community love marriages might seem anachronistic, but to a vast majority of young eligible bachelors and spinsters, it’s a reality, a rather cruel one in some cases!

As a young man today, I do not have much of an idea about the period when the caste system was created, however, the purpose of its creation seems to have been lost in the changing times! With the societal evolution, call it the influence of the west or the natural evolution process, things have become different from what they were before. The need for individualism and personal satisfaction are on a rise. There’s a tendency of selfish hedonism mixed with a keen sense of social responsibility. We commonly nurse the ambition to achieve all that's possible in one single life in all dimensions. Moreover, the times are changing must faster than they did before. The previous generation did not see the amount of change in the world in its entire lifetime than our generation has seen in its 20 years of age!

In this situation, how fair is it of parents to stay obsessed with age old systems of in-caste marriages which have mostly lost their relevance and cause anguish in the hearts of love birds who’re too afraid to carry their relationship forward because they fear their parents’ reaction! The debate has two dimensions to itself, one is the love vs. the arranged marriage debate and the other, an interlinked one, is the in-caste vs. the inter-caste marriages. I’d say, the ones who fall in love with people from their own caste, and then have their marriages arranged by their families, are the luckiest beings on earth.

Trying to explore the parental psychology that goes behind the pressure for an arranged marriage, a few things come to mind. First and foremost seems to be the persistent and scary thought about ‘log kya kahenge.’ Second, a more logical one that is most commonly used against love marriages is the apparent immaturity of the young individuals which renders them incapable of taking a good decision about something as important as marriage. Parents fear that their sons/daughters might end up getting infatuated with someone and choosing to marry them, in which case, very soon the things become bitter and they break apart. Every parent, who is for an arranged marriage would be very quick to cite examples of failed love marriages! Oh yes, there are girls who’d elope with a guy they’ve been infatuated with for a while now, and not too much time later, break apart.. only to bring infamy to herself, her family and at large, to love marriages!

However, is that reason enough for someone to abandon his deeply felt love for someone and marry elsewhere because his parents wish that way? They say one can’t think on his feet if he’s madly in love with someone! I wouldn’t know whether to agree to this reasoning or not!

Looking at the rising issues of individual choices and intolerance in natures, it becomes extremely important to ascertain the mutual compatibility of the two people who’re to get married. However, the conventional proponents of arranged marriages would only like to give the chance of a few meetings, which hardly give any chance for a real understanding of each others’ nature and thus the compatibility. The sacred institution of marriage which is beyond a union of two individuals, considered to be a union of two families, will end up losing its sanctity if parents persistently impose their choices and decisions on their capable of thinking next generation.

A psychological dimension to this comparison can be taken as the expectations of the marrying partners in the two cases of love and arranged marriages. An arranged marriage is based on a compromise. The guy and the girl both are mentally prepared to have some possible mismatch in expectations and thus they’re more accommodating to each others weaknesses, which helps mutual acceptance of each other and ensures a long term bond which is formed in the period of changing for each other and accepting the other person for what they are! On the contrary, a love marriage is completely full of expectations of all kinds. The picture seems all rosy and everything about the other person seems so perfect. However, when the girlfriend turns wife, or the boyfriend husband, the things become altogether different. What seemed trivial enough to be overlooked earlier, assumes a high significance and now unmet expectations from the person or their family cause immense distress and subsequently there are clashes which shatter the so called bond that was once established when the boy and girl thought that they were madly in love with each other!

This seems to suggest that the lovers think with their hearts and not minds. The young people seem to have a bad track record with its choices and there are several love marriages which started off as a grand solemnization of a relationship of several births but ended up a few months later in a bitter state which left behind only tears, hurts and scars of anguish!

So, in the light of a large history of love marriages, it’s not entirely illogical of parents to detest the idea of frivolous love marriages. However, this opposition seems to have degraded and lost its sense of reason and is dominated more by the fear of, as I said earlier, ‘log kya kahenge’ than a natural and genuine concern about their son/daughter’s happiness. Somehow, the fear of the social consequences entirely eclipse the cause of the son’s happiness and his reasonability. More so in the case of girls, when they’re made to compromise in the name of family honor and different other forms of emotional blackmail till they finally give up all their dreams and marry an almost stranger whom her parents chose for her. Then gradually, she comes to terms with the situation, somehow manages or forces herself to face the reality, to care for her husband as a 'pativrata' and leaves her past behind. Then there are kids, which altogether change her entire perception of what's happiness and what's life!

What is required is that the parents don't give a knee jerk reaction to the possible marital plans of their children and at least lend them a patient hearing, substantiated by logic and reasoning! High time we left behind the issues of 'log kya kahenge' and focused on the more important thing that is the genuine happiness of the two people who are to be together!

There's a lot more to this debate, however, as a start, this would suffice!

Youth today! Misguided? Directionless?

Rahul Mahajan: A victim of circumstances?

‘Chor vohi jo pakda jaaye’

As a backdrop to the story: Pramod Mahajan, a well regarded BJP guy is shot dead by his brother. His son is embroiled in a drug controversy, in which he was snorting cocaine/heroine and allegedly celebrating with his friends shaking a cocktail of drugs mixed with champagne! The cause for celebration could be any or possibly it was an escapade out of his depression after his father’s death. (His doctors mentioned that he was quite depressed and taking medication for the same!)

Apollo tried a cover up act, but failed and further complicated the issue. Now, from an idol who had the makings of a leader in his early age itself, who demonstrated his capabilities in varied situations, Rahul is turned into a devil, a spoilt brat, as the natural consequence of the large unaccounted wealth accrued by his father by allegedly unscrupulous means! It’s an awesome world, isn’t it? Rahul Mahajan is a criminal overnight, a symbol of misguided youth, a 'Bade baap ki bigdi aulaad’ all because he’s caught in the act? As long as the act is on behind the curtain, we have nothing against anybody, and now that it’s come out in the open, just about everyone seems to want to distance himself from the entire thing. BJP, except a very few sympathizers, completely washed its hands off anything to do with Rahul Mahajan. So did most other people. And why not, who would want the stink of someone’s misdeeds to stay on their hands and mar their reputation as the high moral ones!

What is it with people that makes them want to live in denial? Perhaps the fear that the truth might overwhelm them they might not be able to handle it. Champagne is a rather mild and somewhat standard beverage in several circles and in fact, harder drinks and even drugs have become more common in urban circles than we’re willing to accept. Now, blame it on the excess money in the fathers’ coffers, on the influence of the west and subsequent rise in consumerism, this is how it is. And one Rahul Mahanjan doesn’t have to be typecast as a descendant of Satan just because he’s caught in the act. Moreover, the trends in intoxication do not really have a direct correlation with the amount of wealth as it is normally assumed. Yes, the higher society people drink in costlier bars but the not so higher ones would still frequent the not so costly bars! And what’s not happening in dimly lit cheap liquor bars spread out across the country.

And possibly to your surprise, this is what is happening in the highest echelons of knowledge, the IITs and the IIMs. Now this is a cause of concern, but not so much as the self appointed burghers of Indian culture might like to claim! I am probably not in a position to talk on behalf of the entire youth at large and neither am I too keen to advocate their escapades. All I am trying to point out, is that the trends have more to do with the times than the directionless-ness. Whatever the connotation might seem to be, the youth can’t generally be dismissed as directionless drug freaks who have no attachment or respect for their country or who are bound to fail in life! Eventually, it’s the same people, who, very soon will take up positions of responsibility in global corporations and who’ll do well at their jobs and who’ll make a difference to the society.

Yes, we are the RDB generation, who probably doesn’t subscribe to the depth of thought as high morality commands, who’s frivolous and who seeks pleasure in indulgence. Yes, we might have abandoned the conventional morality of abstinence from drinks, drugs and relationships. We indulge, and we enjoy life. But we do have our social responsibilities in mind as well. We too at times feel disturbed by the dismal state of affairs, we too wish to make a difference and we too are willing and prepared to shoulder the burden of carrying this nation and the humanity forward!

The deeper thinkers would want to dismiss our indulgence as mindless pursuit of selfish interests and claim that we’re too attached to our own self to even think for the good of the society, but it can be better understood in the perspective of living a wholesome life. I do not want to look back from my death bed and feel that I missed out something in life! Yes, doing something for the society and the nation would give me the proud feeling which is an essential component of this 'one life' , but I’ve got just one life and I wish to fit in everything that’s possible.

For a more generic understanding of the youth of today, we need to ask whether all this indulgence is capable of making us lose our direction in life. Is there anything more to us beyond what looks like a spoilt generation? Given our way of life and indulgence and may it be left to us, are we capable of shouldering our nation and carrying it forward to the future?

wanderer

The politics of 'quota'

(developed over the month of may)

I’m now in Udaipur and can see more protests happening round the clock across the entire nation. Different items of shocking news are being floated from different directions. Supposedly, 94 medical students have collapsed after a hunger strike in Delhi. Word is being spread that one AIIMS student has died due to the same reasons. There have been clashes between the pro and anti reservation youth. Violence seems imminent at times but has so far been under control.

Looking for Arjun Singh’s purpose beyond vote banks, the last thing I read gave me new ideas. It’s being said that 300 of the LS MPs are from the OBC and Arjun Singh wants to please them in order to pave his own way to become the prime minister. This does seem somewhat far fetched. But then, whatever it might be, Arjun Singh is not doing it to uplift the backward classes. This man has no idea about how well or ill represented these classes are. Amusingly, in spite of being the HRD minister, he is not sufficiently knowledgeable or informed about any statistics on the status of OBCs in India.

What’s altogether scary about this issue is it’s creating rifts in the society between the reserved and the unreserved categories. Intentionally or otherwise, there’s been apparent ridicule of the reserved categories, repeatedly pointing to the lack of meritorious students among those categories. So, though as a normal student, I have nothing against any caste or class, when I feel injustice is happening, and I end up having hard feelings for the people who’re getting it easy and when I stand up in protest to say anything against reservations, they’d take it to mean that I’m taking a stand against them. So in all misinterpretation and perceptions, a sense of antagonism starts to prevail between the people on the two sides of the reservation line. Now, if this antagonism manifests itself in the form of violent conflicts of the youth with the youth, who stands to lose and who stands to win?

The politicians are not going to do anything better than adding more fuel to the fire and they would very well gain from the situation by appeasing their vote banks. After all, had there been no protests, the OBCs themselves wouldn’t have considered the reservations as such a massive gift. Now that the UPA has had to face such an opposition from all fronts, they can happily claim their adherence to the misconstrued goal of uplifting the weaker sections of the society.

Some people asked me why the IITians didn’t come out so strongly against the reservations as the medicos did. Exploring this answer, I came to know that the medicos suffer at every stage because of the reserved category students having it easy! Be it the entry level or the examinations (when their godfathers in the higher echelons of power bail them out by intimidating their professors) or the post graduate or the specialization courses. An ex professor was hardly sympathetic for these so called weaker sections. They’re known to form gangs of their own and wield power in and outside the classrooms. Now, if they’ve been having it easy all this while, how would they let it slip out of their hands so easily!

It was delighting to see CNBC hosting a special on The Reservation Riddle inviting IIM professors to debate the issue and seek alternative solutions! Obviously, not much can come out when you have six points of view coming out in one single show, but it was at least a spectacle of a democratic process where diverse opinions are possible and respected. Though it was largely an Anti-Reservation group, the JNU and IIM Kolkata people did mark their stand for reservations. The debate however completely excluded the point of view of medical students and the pertinent point that the reservations should be allowed repeatedly to the same person at different stages.

Someone presented the idea that the OBCs already form over 20% in educational institutes, then why this reservation? Amusing, conflicting pieces of information! I’ll probably end up losing my head over it if I continue thinking about it! Guess more will come out if I sit down in discussion with diverse people and then try to work out an opinion of my own!

Anyway, looking at the newspapers and the TV it appears that the mandal redux generated a lot of heat at its peak, but apparently the temperatures are cooling down and the life’s going to get back to normal! People will learn to live with it! The strikes have been called off, the supreme court intervened, the doctors went back to work, the media has been busy with covering Rahul Mahajan’s cocaine escapades! The revolution seems to be getting lost in the middle of several vested interests. Rightly said, public memory is too short to carry forward a revolution of a large scale with sufficient momentum!

Does anyone really care? And even if someone does care, is he capable of doing something?

I hear the supreme court is yet to give its ideas to the bill and it would be tabled again in the parliament in the monsoon session. Lots of people across the country are doing ‘sadbuddhi yajnas’ hoping that some sense would prevail and Arjun Singh would rise beyond his partisan politics and do justice to the merit of the several thousands of capable young people who do deserve to get into the so called prestigious institutes but are left out, in the process of so called advancement of the weaker sections of the society!

wanderer

Attitude eh? What does he think of himself!

Yet another batchmate pointed it out that the one thing that he'll probably remember about me.. is the Attitude. And not referring to attitude in a general sense.. calling it the chilled out attitude or something.. THE Attitude

Now, whether to attribute it to the leo inherent in me... or to the way I've come to become.. it's been ages since I've been labeled as the attitude boy! When I was young.. it was my sisters' friends.. who'd perceive that way.. and then whoever meets me... surely manages to get the same first impression! So whether it be my class mates.. or my fresher or later year wing mates.. or the people I bumped into during Mood Indigo.. or the Spic Macay National Convention.... I'm the one with the Attitude! There's gotta be something there!

What is this Attitude and how do I define mine? Is there something right or wrong about it? Do I end up offending people even without realizing it? Do I come across as very impolite? Or do I think too highly of myself? Do I constantly condescend or show people down? Do I live in a superiority complex?

I guess there was time when I was at my arrogant best.. and yes.. then there was perhaps an unconcious condescension that was happening all the time..There was a time when I'd gotten seriously thinking about my attitude as an issue.. when too many people had complained all at the same time.. I'd once asked a friend to point out my weaknesses as she saw them.. and we'd spoken of the attitude as a key issue! Recollecting those times.. she wondered if I still worried about that.. she guessed not.. and she guessed it right!

I believe I've left those times behind.. eventually.. either I toned it down... or people stopped minding it anymore. At least for the people who know me well enough.. the attitude isnt' really that big an issue.... in fact, amusingly, some people.. from some point in time when they absolutely hated it.. and hated me for it.. have now grown into liking it. Maybe I've managed to get them to appreciate the beauty of arrogance.. (Personally I am fascinated to people with an inoffensive and mild arrogance.. but then... it's difficult to know when the mildness line is crossed)

Barring a few valfi time reminders.. which are expected to be a reflection of my predominant tendencies over the past four years.. I believe this tinge of arrogance serves me just fine!

Now if someone is bothered by it.. he's most welcome to say it in my face when I offend him.. and I promise I'd be polite enough to bend down and apologize! I do not enjoy hurting people.. but sometimes.. being too straightforward is a moral crime.. and guess that's what testifies against me.

Sorry folks.. I never really intended to offend anyone.. so Dil pe mat lena yaar!

But then.. if you're bent on taking offence even when I didn't mean it... and not even mentioning it.. then I really can't help it yaar!

Chill... Relax..Take it easy!

wanderer

Everyone's really good at heart??

'Kam padega to maang ke khaa lenge.. par gaddari nahin karenge'

Some morals that would probably be difficult to find in the most well bred and well brought up people.. were to be seen in an auto rikshaw driver.. who took a shortcut to save us time.... harming his own income in the process.

We tend to believe that man is corrupt by nature.. but I get reminded of Anne Frank.. whose personal thoughts were that 'inspite of everything, I still believe that everyone's really good at heart.' Intuitively, I like to believe in the goodness of human beings... in their inner honest nature! Now, they tell me that this illusion shall be destroyed once I leave the cosy confines of my college and step out into the real harsh world.. somehow.. the mind supports it.. but the heart refuses to believe! Guess, some lessons are meant to be learnt the hard way!

My experiences so far.. have somewhat tended to prove otherwise.. when i've closely interacted with the people in question.. there was Mahesh.. a sweeper with PHO.. who'd refused to accept a bakshish for a timely service.. because his service hours were going on.. and he really didn't need to ask for anything extry beyond his salary.. to perform his duty!

Now.. it's amusing to note the ideals of people so low in the so called socio-economic strata.. it would be difficult to be found in high caliber and high status people anywhere..

If only our politicians possessed a small bit of this integrity.. we'd be living in a different place by now!

Chers!

wanderer

If Everyone loves you, you're Boring!

I'd so loved this philosophy.. when I first read about it ages ago.. but never really thought it would become rather well ingrained in my personality!

and why not.. for someone with an attitude as mine.. this is one line that can justify endless showers of my affection on people who might have expected a more humble behavior from the all so naive me! and am I sorry to them? I guess not!

Thanks to a few cans of beer.. this is now a popular funda.. from Baba 'anks' .. who proclaimed his right to throwing his attitude... on whoever he thought deserved it.. during the so called senti part of his farewell profile

Yes.. I tried that I do not leave any grudges with anyone.. but then in some cases.. it'll probably only have to be forgotten.. Can't help it yaar!

It's like.. you do need some people who hold grudges.. who hate you.. who dislike you.. that's what adds spice to life and that's what makes life interesting! now come on.. don't you agree????

alright.. call me the bad boy or whatever.. but I somehow am pretty much ok.. and rather happy with it!

Ok.. so you wanna hate me too.. sorry yaar.. can't help it!

Relax yaar...Chill!

wanderer

Exaltation Quotient? ZERO

Just the other day.. I was sitting at Pizza Hut with a friend.. and came in a high flying career woman.. flaunting a phoren accent, emanating from an AC luxury car with two male colleagues... discussing some hi-fi things!

I got into thinking... executives... consultants.. the most exalted professionals in the corporate circles.. degree wise.. IIT and IIM are the most awesome things that could spin a dream career for you! And here I am.. having made it all this far! Somehow.. the exaltation wasn't all so apparent.. somehow.. I didn't feel all that exuberant about having made it to IIM Calcutta!

Did it have something to do with my inherent desi-ness which I am all the more proud of.. which would probably feel lost in the middle of phoren accent high fliers?

Or was it the disillusionment.. that coming all this far.. wasn't that big a deal actually.. as it is made out to be! But then.. for the society it still is a big deal! Papa.. typically representing the line of thought of his peer group out there in udaipur.. says people would be more than happy to pay a crore of rupees for a single seat in the IIMs if it is on offer that way!

Should that make me feel happy? Not quite... satisfied? I dunno..

Is this where I belong.. is this what my calling is?

I don't know!

Wish me luck.. in the quest to find my own destiny!

cheers!

wanderer

Aye Saala!

There's something about being a six pointer.. which.. if it gets to you.. is a troublesome thing to handle.... and then very difficult to leave..

It's got something to do with what Akio Morita talked about as mental laziness.. That is, if for a prolonged period of time, you really haven't been working hard on anything at all.. you end up losing the capacity to work hard! and then it's kinda difficult to one day out of the blues crack anything in life....

For someone who's become habitual to being a loser at academics.. someone who's learnt to live with low grades.. become immune to the ashaming glances of the professors... kept himself out of any kind of academic discussions.. (considering himself underqualified to comment on them) for someone whose social life gets affected when he carries the label of a mediocre academic around.. and when people also start to see him in that light.. no one's surprised at yet another screw up by him..

When his father starts questioning if he doesn't want to do IAS because of an escapist tendency... that is.. he doesn't intend to work hard.. or if he's not sure if he'll make it... He's so afraid of the failure that he doens't want to write the exam in the first place...

And then failures at job interviews.. where no one's willing to buy that 'not interested in the subject' theory... they lead you into the gloomy world of a lesser mortal existence!

but then.. the worst is when he begins to lose his faith in himself.... and starts to wallow in the royal abandon.. consciously turning his head away from the tough things in life.. and humoring himself by living in the 'ditch!' philosophy.

Guess it's a psychological vicious circle.... one thing leads to another.. and like a phoenix that is bound to rise only from ashes.. you see yourself fathoming hte greatest of depths.. but then goodness prevails.. your hope and your faith survives the juggernauts from all directions.. then you break the shackles... and reaffirm your own faith in yourself.. and then you begin to see.. that the world trusted you all the time.. those who didn't.. were the once who hardly cared... and the ones who hardly mattered!

The world knew you would make it! Only you didn't! Guess that's what they mean in the psychological theories of projecting your state of mind onto the others.. and see everything in a particular light!

Ab galti meri thi.. ya situation ki.. ya kissi aur ki.. par ab situation rectify hone ke baad thoda achchha lagta hai.. the faith is regained.. although the exalted feeling of having succeeded bigtime is missing.. (probably because it doesnt' seem big enough.. after having made it)... anyway.. that story will go on in another entry.... meanwhile..

Aye Saala.. abhi abhi hua yakin.. ke aag hai.. mujhmein kahin!

Cheers!

wanderer

From CAT to CAL

someimes I find my confidence bordering on insanity.. when I wrote JEE.. i didn't write any other exams.. when I was into CAT.. I didn't appear for placements.. (it's a different thing that a job wasn't on the cards anyway..) but I sure can be smug talking this way..I'd made a posting sometime in october last year, about The genesis of the CAT success story.. well.. a little overconfident apparently.. but it feels good to look back and say that dude.. I had the balls to make those claims!

and now.. on april 15th.. here I sit.. with an offer letter from IIM Calcutta in my hands! The fears allayed.. the tension resolved...the insecurities subsided.. the question still remaining.. what am I gonna do next.. it would've probably been simpler had i not gotten through! People know me as crazy enough.. and they do ask if I am gonna take it.. while in normal situations.. for someone who's ditched IIT placements.. it would've been a definite obvious!

In fond memories, the entire interview was a pleasing experience... prolly those guys took me in... coz it was apparent that both them and me.. enjoyed hte interview process.. so what with a couple of really dumb jokes! Guess it was this pleasurable experience which made me call up my folks and tell them that if the Cal guys don't take me in.. they're outta their minds.. which rejected the insecurity inserted by ppl who feared that i was being over confident! I mean.. yeah.. it is a little crazy indeed!

anyway.. for the benefit of my own indulgence in self congratulation.. I feel like taking up some of the things that transpired in the interview with the Calcutta guys.. that they got bullied into taking me in.. when the others.. L/I/K simply threw me out! I keep humoring myself saying that only the real 'johari' can identify the 'real diamond'.. bole toh.. L/I/K couldn't appreciate my Godgiri! :-)

Khair.. Mera Jaadu chal gaya!

One interview.. where I quickly wriggled out of explaining about my fatela acads.. one interview which never entered into Current affairs or anything technical for that matter!

One interview where i talked and philosophised about street photography.... and attacked the NGOs blatantly trying to stop child labour.. where i joked about a megaphone being useless on the moon.. because there'd be no audience ( actually there's no air on the moon for the sound to travel) where I spoke about Lord Krishna.. and his mythical trails of HR adventures! Where I spoke the famous RDB dialogue, 'Koi bhi desh perfect nahin hota, use perfect banaana padta hai' , where I glorified the 'chalta hai-nahin chalega' campaign.

And yes.. one place where the entrepreneur in me.. when asked to choose between a high paying US job and a moderate Indian job.. took a third option.. and said he'd ditch the placement process!

Man! I was impressive :-))

ab lag raha hai... ki yeh blog entry results se pehle karni chahiye thi.. kaafi jyaada phantomgiri lagti! but chalta hai! overdose nahin!

Finally.. congratulate me on this success.. though it isn't yet giving me the exalted feeling! Ab to life mein naye confusions start ho gaye hain! lets see where life takes!

and yes.. out of my usual habit of giving fundaes.. what's primary is to be yourself.. you really can't prepare with knowledge for your interviews man! at least for the IIMs. It's your personality that's taking the test.. and not your knowledge!

Cheers!

wanderer

Idealism meets Pragmatism!

Wanderer : hey are you there?
A Pragmatist: yes I am
A Pragmatist: 
A Pragmatist: hello
A Pragmatist: how r u?
Wanderer : I’m good.. wassup with you?
Wanderer : I was wondering.. how much of the research u guys do.. actually are put to any use..
Wanderer : other than being stacked in the dept/insti libraries
Wanderer : I’m sure there are tons of them over the past several years...
Wanderer : how busy are you these days?? (I know you're usually quite busy.. but still..?)
A Pragmatist: yeah true....but then the process of research has to go on
A Pragmatist: coz after months and years of painstaking research, a breakthrough is made
Wanderer : I’m not stopping research from happening
Wanderer : I’m only saying.. make your toil a little more meaningful
Wanderer : share your publications..
A Pragmatist: which may lead to the development of a new product, new theory or new drug
Wanderer : wait
A Pragmatist: yah u r right
Wanderer : let’s restrict to the humanities dept right now
A Pragmatist: the toil must be made meaningful
A Pragmatist: and the publications are usually shared
Wanderer : there are so many social problems that we face today as a society.. and as a nation..
A Pragmatist: and yet profs work on theoretical aspects
A Pragmatist: so what about HSS
Wanderer : can there be empirical study.. which would help a layman understand the nature and severity of the problems..
A Pragmatist: with no relevance to ground realities?
Wanderer : theories.. well.. of course the academic nature has to stay.. but one is the theory Vs practical aspect..
A Pragmatist: well surveys are conducted periodically over different problems
Wanderer: another one is the American theory.. and it's Indian relevance..
Wanderer : as in.. do you have any major Indian theorists??
A Pragmatist: you are right we need to be more practical and application oriented in our approach
Wanderer : who can be safely applied to India.. generating actually meaningful understanding of the Indian society?
A Pragmatist: well true again.....theory building in most branches of knowledge is still in its infancy in India
Wanderer : how would it happen.. if you keep reading American scholars.. and teach the same when you become a prof..
Wanderer : you know..
A Pragmatist: yeah true......it holds good for social sciences, including psychology and also management
A Pragmatist: yeah I do get your point
Wanderer : physics/chemistry/electronics.. and to an extent... economics too..
Wanderer : can be universal.
Wanderer : but humanities can't be!!
A Pragmatist: hmmmm.....so what’s the way out?
Wanderer : no over night way out
Wanderer : but are we willing to really keenly look for a way out?
A Pragmatist: yeah by its very nature, the study of the human being and human nature is culture sensitive
Wanderer : we have a normal tendency to be inertial change
Wanderer : inertial to change I mean
Wanderer : we as individuals.. and the whole system itself
A Pragmatist: I guess not....coz profs want to stick to the old order of doing things
A Pragmatist: exactly
Wanderer : culture plays too big a role in human personality..
A Pragmatist: so howz your project work coming along?
Wanderer : so do we go on reading American authors.. and try finding connections that do not exit
Wanderer : my project is alright..
Wanderer : how much of your life at IITB is left?
A Pragmatist: no we should study Indian conditions and then build theories which are relevant to this country
A Pragmatist: maybe one year
Wanderer : it's good to talk over messages.. but how do we go about it?
Wanderer : as I said..
Wanderer : our own inertia..
Wanderer : and then that of the system
Wanderer : they're formidable
Wanderer : but unless someone starts... nothing changes!
A Pragmatist: yes and our commitments....to complete a course, to get a degree, a job etc
Wanderer : that'll get me into a different dimension of philosophy
A Pragmatist: so do you want me to make a start? Or do you plan to make a difference?
Wanderer : I wish to make a difference..
Wanderer : to bring about a change
A Pragmatist: coz this is a fertile ground of study and future research
Wanderer : but obviously.
A Pragmatist: that’s Great!
Wanderer : I’m only one motivated boy
A Pragmatist: you must want something first in order to accomplish it!
Wanderer : need loads and loads of help!!
Wanderer : I’m in talks with a couple of profs. from HSS dept..
Wanderer : and the ppl who're doing the poster competition..
A Pragmatist: Believe in yourself, take the lead, and loads and loads of help shall follow!
Wanderer : alright..
Wanderer : so do I make sense to you?
A Pragmatist: regarding what?
Wanderer : the same issues as I am talking to you about
Wanderer : it's a complex web of issues though..
A Pragmatist: poster competition you mean the one they are planning for the event on Mumbai?
Wanderer : yeah
Wanderer : I was told they were enthu ppl.. wanting to make a difference
A Pragmatist: okay...didn’t know this idea has percolated thru the walls of the dept so soon
Wanderer : Rang de Basanti!
A Pragmatist: yeah I happened to attend one of their meetings yesterday!
A Pragmatist: Wow......an apt phrase!
Wanderer : 4 pm.. terrace??
A Pragmatist:
A Pragmatist: yeah.......you've got all the info!!
A Pragmatist: I’m impressed!
Wanderer : yes I do.. only I checked the mail too late.. else would've been there for the meeting
A Pragmatist: but it goes to all@hss.....
A Pragmatist: how come you get the mails?
Wanderer : I am not on that
A Pragmatist: then?
Wanderer : prof. kd sent it to me..
Wanderer : anyway
Wanderer : now on.. you could do that for me
Wanderer : and next up..
Wanderer : how do you suggest we go about this?
A Pragmatist: so what can I do for you?
Wanderer : coz we gotta work it out step by step
Wanderer : one. it's not you doing something for me..
Wanderer : it's 'we' working together to bring a change!!
A Pragmatist: yeah I know
Wanderer : and yes.. now you can go about expanding the army!!
Wanderer : and marching ahead
Wanderer : I was told.. as for the copyright issues.. we only need the permissions of the authors.. to avail of the theses.. and publish it elsewhere..
Wanderer : I was wondering how useful they might be.. for a layman's understanding..?
A Pragmatist: well, after listening to the whole concept I was quite excited about it, and surely happy that some beginning is being made in HSS dept which has mostly been very dormant
Wanderer : and to actually make some recommendations
A Pragmatist: well however useful or useless they might be, I have made my mind very clear to concentrate my energies to my work for the next one year!
Wanderer : I don't know the exact details of the poster thing.. only want to get more people involved in the mission. which we want to be the next Indian revolution
Wanderer : hey.. am not questioning any of your works here.
A Pragmatist: howsoever much I may be interested in extra curricular activities, I think I’ve had my share of organizing things.
Wanderer : I am only asking you.. since I’ve never really been through one of those PhD theses
A Pragmatist: yeah I know.....I in fact sent a congratulatory mail yesterday to students@hss.
Wanderer : whatever!
Wanderer : the point here is.. I’m not holding an event or two...
Wanderer : for which you'll need to 'organize' things per se
A Pragmatist: appreciating their endeavors and one of the active members, Ganesh asked me to attend
Wanderer : that's fine.
Wanderer : your level of involvement doesn't matter all that much
A Pragmatist: but mobilizing people takes a lot of time and energy and I think there are enough enthu people in the group who will do this
A Pragmatist: yeah I know
Wanderer : but your ideas and references can surely be useful
A Pragmatist: I did give some good ideas yesterday
Wanderer : point me to the enthu ppl..
Wanderer : I’ve already mailed Ganesh
A Pragmatist: and frankly speaking, this is an event on Mumbai and different aspects of it.......I am yet to know how this can be the harbinger of a positive, meaningful change in society?
Wanderer : look.. I don't know much about the poster competition..
Wanderer : I’m only keen on capitalizing on the energies and enthu of these guys wanting to make a difference
A Pragmatist: coz I believe in and work for something only when I am convinced of its intrinsic worth......
A Pragmatist: ok I understand.....
Wanderer : and then figure out.. what are the ways in which they can actually make a positive contribution
Wanderer : which.. for the HSS ppl.. is their research itself
Wanderer : I completely accept that as students
Wanderer : we live in our own limitations.. and have a lot of constraints
A Pragmatist: so since you've already mailed Ganesh, I think he'll let you know all the details.
Wanderer : so anything that demands too much.. is impractical
A Pragmatist: yes sensible stuff.
Wanderer : I only want ppl to do what they can.. staying within their constraints
A Pragmatist:
Wanderer : it's already too late for you probably
A Pragmatist: well, I was drawn to the meeting yesterday
Wanderer : but if only ppl can actually choose relevant topics for their theses..
Wanderer : and make it available to all the relevant ppl... they're doing their share too well
Wanderer : and if the research is empirical.. it adds on!
A Pragmatist: very true
Wanderer : now tell me.. am I asking too much of anyone?
Wanderer : and be straight
Wanderer : I’d like to deal with it professionally..
A Pragmatist: tell me, do you plan to do an empirical psychological/ sociological research now or in future?
Wanderer : coz I believe in it
Wanderer : yes.. I will in future
Wanderer : that'll be more of organizational.. achievement of human potential
A Pragmatist: you are very correct that research must be done on topics and problems relevant to society
Wanderer : maybe on Indian organizational behavior.. motivation..
A Pragmatist: wow that will be so interesting
A Pragmatist: All the very best!
Wanderer : thanks
Wanderer : but talking it over on a chat doesn't get me anywhere
Wanderer : I can't be a complete maverick in an unfavorable system..
Wanderer : where we're obsessed with defunct antique American theories..
Wanderer : which don't even apply to us anyway
A Pragmatist: tell me do you plan to apply an Indian theory in your project?
Wanderer : not in this BTP..
A Pragmatist: yes we need theories and models which are Indian in nature and scope
Wanderer : it's too small in scope to do anything of that kind..
Wanderer : moreover.. I am not applying any theories
Wanderer : as such
A Pragmatist: okay.....but this is a good area to pursue in future
Wanderer : look..
Wanderer : both of us know..
A Pragmatist: ok then we can meet sometime
Wanderer : what we as ppl really need
Wanderer : question is..
Wanderer : how do we go about it..
Wanderer : of course
Wanderer : with due respect to your commitments
A Pragmatist: to discuss your ideas in greater detail
Wanderer : I don't want to discuss my future plans here
Wanderer : that's not the crux of the matter
Wanderer : the crux is about us as ppl.. working together to make a positive difference
Wanderer : and attempting to bring about a systematic change
A Pragmatist: Hey.. .....I myself have been fired with such a passion all my life
Wanderer : and what did you do about it?
Wanderer : are you done doing your bit?
A Pragmatist: and by the grace of the Lord, I received tiny opportunities right here in IIT to make some small significant difference to my environment!
Wanderer : This is admirable indeed!
A Pragmatist: well no.....I’m not yet done coz there's still a long way to go
Wanderer : ........
A Pragmatist: this is only a beginning.....a good one....which surely has boosted my confidence!
Wanderer : good for you
A Pragmatist: thanks
Wanderer : so where do you go next?
A Pragmatist: but I also realize that I have a duty and commitment to my work.....when I would be selflessly working for a cause I held dear, I had a hundred people who opposed me....who sat back selfishly.
A Pragmatist: I don’t intend to fall into that category
Wanderer : ........?
A Pragmatist: but since you've asked for my frank opinion, I do want to take a pragmatic view of things at this point of time.
Wanderer : and that asks you to postpone things for a while
Wanderer : as in.. everything other than your work
Wanderer : work*
A Pragmatist: we may work together........now or in future.....if your ideas interest me, we may even do some research even in future
Wanderer : future's too far my dear
A Pragmatist: when I would be a bespectacled professor and you the head of R&D of some company!!
Wanderer : I am not worried about what'll happen then
Wanderer : excuse me. am not doing R n D..
Wanderer : per se
A Pragmatist: but then we dream about the future.....to keep ourselves going in the present
A Pragmatist:
Wanderer : coz that gets into the conventional limitations
Wanderer : anyway
Wanderer : the idea is the league has to break somewhere
A Pragmatist: alright so you want to break all conventional limitations!
Wanderer : coz I see you as a professor.. once again teaching American theories to your students
Wanderer : I’ll do my share of it
Wanderer : and probably one of two of them.. also hating the idea of having to study that
Wanderer : but once again.. being pragmatic enough to want to pass your course and get away with it
Wanderer : and the cycle being repeated forever.. as it's happened for the past two generations
A Pragmatist: listen.......this debate is endless.....
Wanderer : excuse me.. I didn't know we were debating
Wanderer : but anyway
A Pragmatist: well....since we are talking after long....
Wanderer : I wouldn't want to debate.. and waste time..
Wanderer : yours and mine
Wanderer : so let’s exchange pleasantries..
Wanderer : and be done with it
A Pragmatist: you don’t know what I’ve forsaken so I could restrict myself to work
Wanderer : Hi! I’m fine. what's up with you??
A Pragmatist: of course not
A Pragmatist: if that were the case, I wouldn’t have been chatting with you for so long!!!
A Pragmatist: don’t make me angry anymore than what I already am!
Wanderer : don’t' blame me for blowing the top.. when someone's already increased the pressure..
A Pragmatist: alright.....I’ve seen examples of people, some very close to me, who devoted their youth, their entire lives for a cause, only to find the old system back in place!
Wanderer : alright leave it
A Pragmatist: hey I was kidding......the heat takes a lot of time to build up
Wanderer : at least they dared to attempt it
A Pragmatist: in fact I thought of sending a smiling
Wanderer : and moreover... if I don't have the faith to do anything
A Pragmatist: yes I was coming to that
A Pragmatist: If our forefathers did not have the faith to make India free, and to present to future generations a free land devoid of the Englishmen, we would not have achieved our Independence when we did!
A Pragmatist: My own Grandma had been an intrinsic part of this movement, even served terms in jail, lived in harsh conditions in the Sabarmati Ashram when she had been brought up in a cocooned environ full of comforts!
A Pragmatist: We would never have had an uprising in the Independent India
Wanderer : one min
A Pragmatist: of the magnitude and scope of the JP movement
A Pragmatist: which dared to even challenge State Power!
A Pragmatist: yes you wanna add something?
Wanderer : one min
Wanderer : had a friend
Wanderer : anyway
Wanderer : my inspiration doesn't come from the past
A Pragmatist: coz as I said, we may meet sometime soon, coz I have to compose n send a mail tonite
Wanderer : it comes from the future
Wanderer : let me not keep you
Wanderer : good nite..
Wanderer : and go ahead with you work
A Pragmatist: well.....forward looking sons of the Motherland!!
Wanderer : whatever you might like to call!
A Pragmatist: ok thanks.....we shall resume our conversation some other time.......
Wanderer : here's where pragmatism and idealism need to find a balance
A Pragmatist: as in?
Wanderer : the thought the so called motivating past of revolutionary freedom fighters
A Pragmatist: I know I have both idealistic and pragmatic traits in my nature
Wanderer : and the current systematic constraints
Wanderer : anyway
Wanderer : you go ahead.. do your work
A Pragmatist: just that at different points of time, different aspects of our nature becomes predominant
Wanderer : the things shall take care of themselves
A Pragmatist: yeah remember a quote
Wanderer : ?
A Pragmatist: shall share it with you
Wanderer : go ahead
A Pragmatist: "He who made this world, when I was born, shall take care of it likewise, when I am dead.
A Pragmatist: "My part is to improve the present!"
A Pragmatist: I liked it when I first read it.....you cannot change the past
A Pragmatist: you don’t yet know the future
Wanderer : but you can impact the future
A Pragmatist: but yes one can certainly make a difference in the present!
A Pragmatist: yeah right
A Pragmatist: the future is changed forever through what we do today!
Wanderer : right!
Wanderer : so either choose to let it be..
Wanderer : or choose what it'll be!
A Pragmatist: or change it
Wanderer : it's upto you!
A Pragmatist: yes My choice!!!
Wanderer : Good night!
A Pragmatist: My will, my choice, my destiny!!!
Wanderer : It was a pleasure talking to you
A Pragmatist: good night dude!
A Pragmatist: yeah same here....you talk serious stuff and I like it.
A Pragmatist: hope our paths cross soon, if God so wills!
Wanderer : you made me realize some shortcomings.. and that'll be helpful
A Pragmatist: And whatever may be His will, I wish you all the very best for your endeavors!
Wanderer : chill!
Wanderer : I’m a little less fatalistic
A Pragmatist: bye and take care of yourself!
A Pragmatist: what? after talking to me?
Wanderer : I usually choose my paths.. and wills..
A Pragmatist: That’s amazing!
Wanderer : as in.. He powers me.. but he doesn't take all decisions on my behalf
Wanderer : he leaves them to me!
A Pragmatist: maybe one day you can enlighten other souls in their path
Wanderer : If He wants me to
Wanderer : chill
A Pragmatist: ok shall wait to hear more next time......
A Pragmatist: good night

Mohe Rang De Basanti!

Watching a movie with a nationalistic flavor does impact your mind.. so what if its temporary..

zindagi jab chhadh jaati hai.. to kai baar dil khaali hota hai..

Rang De Basanti.. mohe rang de.

Wanderer: Mujhe to lagta hai.. kissi cheez ke liye lad jaayen.. voh jazba to hai hi nahin hamare andar!

Dreamy Eyes: Dost.. isi jazbey ki talaash mein to zindagi nikal jaati hai.. hamaara safar to abhi shuru bhi nahin hua hai..

Wanderer: Par us jazbey ke bina jeena bhi kya jeena.. jasbe ke saath to chaar din bhi jiye.. to kaafi hai!

Dreamy Eyes: Un chaar dinon ki hi to talaash jaari hai dost. un char dinon ke liye life ke chalees saal beet jaate hain!

Wanderer: Are we closing our eyes to what lies in front of us and running towards a mirage? An invisible target? Seeking the source of fragrance like the musk deer? ( Kasturi Mrig)

Dreamy Eyes: Hmm.. I think ki we're much better than those who don't want to. The fact that we're searching for a mirage shows that we're willing to the extent of craziness to follow our ideas!

Wanderer: Wouldn't that only be a pretense if we're closing our eyes to the present. Should satisfy us if we're better off than others? Is life worth living without having a crazy purpose to it that we could give ourselves to?

Dreamy Eyes: Kisne kaha ki hamne present se aakhen band kar rakhi hain.. aaj jo tasveer dikh rahegi.. vohi to kal ki prerana banegi. Aur haan.. I believe that at least some thirst of ours should be quenched by the knowledge that we're better off than others. And for your last question.. do you already have a crazy idea worth living for.. worth DYING for? If yes... e x c e l l e n t!! If not.. then WELCOME ABOARD.

Wanderer: Maybe the ideas are present but we aren't willing to take them up! We're waiting for something bigger/better.. which seems crazy enough.. while we ourselves are not sure what's 'enough' for us! Voh kehte haina... adjust karne ki aadat si pad gayi hai!

Dreamy Eyes: HUH!!

Wanderer: College mein log jaante hai apan ko.. kuchh aukaat hai apni.. kehte hai.. Kuchh to baat hai apan mein.. kuchh kar ke dikhayega yeh.. .. aur agar abhi kuchh nahin kiya.. to apun bhi kho jaayega laakhon ki bheed mein.. pis jaayenge ek andhi daud mein.. Sirf ek safed Chadar.. kuchh phool.. Ek kutta bhi nahin royega apni maut par!

Dreamy Eyes: Dude.. tum jaante ho ki tumhe kya karna hai? Agar haan.. to lag jaao uske peeche!! kyonki vohi tumhaara passion hai.. to tum zaroor ek star banoge!

Wanderer: Are we spending our lives 'running away from something'.. pretending that we're running towards something else?

Ab bhi jo na khaul utthe, voh khoon nahin hai paani hai..
desh ke kaam jo na aaye.. voh bekaar jawaani hai!

Lag raha hoga na tujhe.. apan raat ko movie dekh ke aaya hai.. full tight hai.. kal tak saara nasha utar jaayega!

Dreamy Eyes: Nahi.. mujhe pata hai ki tu sirf movie se tight nahin hua hai... yeh teri philosophy rahi hai.. jab se main tujhe jaanta hoon..

to yeh jo chhadhi hai.. itni jaldi nahin uttregi

zindagi chhadh jaati hai voh bhi bina hang over ke... par saaki haina..
saaki har ghadi phir se mera jaam bhar diya karta hai.. !

ab utarne mein time lagega!

wanderer..

Grappling with Existential angst.. you're not alone!

This one is with someone who’s company moved her to NY recently..She looked like she'd love to hang around with people there.. however.. even this person.. who’s lately graduating from thinking about career to thinking about the life at large.. seems to be suffering from our own very usual phenomenon!

A provocative status message initiated me into it.. and soon enough.. we were into what neither had originally intended to talk about!

Wanderer: so.. how's it going with NY.. and with the New Yorkers..
Wanderer: I to still hang around with the same old bunch.. the lesser mortals
A Thinker : hehe
A Thinker : not lesser mortals
A Thinker : u guys are better off
A Thinker : am feeling very i dunno…
A Thinker : blue

Wanderer: ok..what's happened all of a sudden?
Wanderer: missing your mom ?
A Thinker : i speak to her every other day.
Wanderer: then..??
Wanderer: missing old friends from here?
A Thinker : not quite yaar.. Shreya and Madhur are here with me anyway..
Wanderer: then what's the issue??
A Thinker : just u know lots of friendly ppl around but still alone syndrome
Wanderer: does that have to do with being in a foreign land?
A Thinker : I don't think so!

Wanderer: then what's it?
Wanderer: looking for a boyfriend?
A Thinker : hehe
A Thinker : no not really
A Thinker : more like soul mate
Wanderer: well..
Wanderer: that's more or less the same.. isn't it?
A Thinker : nah
A Thinker : i dont believe in boyfriend stuff
Wanderer: well..
A Thinker : too kiddish very hollow
Wanderer: what do you believe in then?
A Thinker : its i just dont approve of a concept of boyfriend girlfriend
A Thinker : as in at least the words sound ridiculous
A Thinker : why can’t ppl term it as mates or buddies or good friends
Wanderer: that pretty much depends on how you define each of these
Wanderer: ppl have the right to have their own definitions
Wanderer: so do you
Wanderer: so why don't you tell me your definitions??
A Thinker : sorry but guess am not in the best of moods am in a very philosophical mood
A Thinker : and why do u have to name a relation
A Thinker : why cant everyone just appreciate the essence
A Thinker : i dont mind haveing nameless relations

Wanderer: you're turning me on
Wanderer: on the mental side i mean..
A Thinker : Thanks for clarifying that !
A Thinker : someone who is there with you to share your life as it happens as in for whatever time they are they they share it

A Thinker : see these small things make so much of a differnece and generally if you're fixed in your daily routine you wud miss it in real life

A Thinker : its like we are all running and running getting caught in a vicious circle and really heading nowhere

Wanderer: well.. I lie in the center of the universe.. so no running around for me!
Wanderer: I like to think that way!
A Thinker : :-)

Wanderer: i wonder.. you claim to be into philosophy.. and you still feel lonely!
A Thinker : see not lonely in that sense
Wanderer: my alter ego gives good company that ways
A Thinker : lonely in the sense i have no one to share this with
Wanderer: share what?
A Thinker : even now i have to be verbose and tell it to you
A Thinker : wanna be in a state where even that is not required
A Thinker : just be at peace
Wanderer: so.. what's the search for?
Wanderer: someone who'd make it like that
Wanderer: or you wanna be at the end of this existential angst?

A Thinker : share my thought of being lonely
Wanderer: don't worry.. it's not all that uncommon!
Wanderer: just about everyone has it..

Wanderer: you seem to be looking for something/someone..
Wanderer: waiting for something to happen
Wanderer: or someone to enter your life..
Wanderer: and you feel.. he/she would take away these lonely moments from you..
A Thinker : as in
A Thinker : latter i guess
Wanderer: which is true.. in relationships
Wanderer: you get to think of loneliness when you're alone
A Thinker : no
A Thinker : i ain’t finding myself
A Thinker : am getting a little overwhelmed by the possibility that my I doesn’t know my me

A Thinker : i dont want a relationship
Wanderer: and when you're seriously into someone.. you can't be alone.. coz they're always with you!
Wanderer: in thoughts at least!
A Thinker : just wanna know myself
A Thinker : hmm
A Thinker : dunno
A Thinker : guess just a phase will pass
A Thinker : am seriously thinking of quitting my job
A Thinker : it aint giving me any mental kick any longer

Wanderer: go to kailash parbat
Wanderer: meditate..
Wanderer: introspect
Wanderer: find out what your really want
Wanderer: seek your truth
Wanderer: find what motivates you..
Wanderer: energizes you..
Wanderer: and drives your desire!
Wanderer: figure out what's gonna quench the thirst within
A Thinker : hmm go to kailash parbat, not a bad idea! :-))

A Thinker : but i need to find my fountain guess have been putting it off for too long now.
Wanderer: ?
A Thinker : guess will continue my thought process
A Thinker : but don’t know when I’d be able to take some action..
A Thinker : i don’t think i can carry on this way for too long..
Wanderer: hmm..
Wanderer: join me in writing a book..
Wanderer: on the existential angst facing the current generation..
Wanderer: about the thousand desires..
A Thinker : hmm wat do u wanna write about hazaroan kwah
Wanderer: about the eternal confusion
A Thinker : ok cant type the spelling but u get what i mean

Wanderer: I’d told you of that healthcare thing for everyone..
Wanderer: that's one desire
Wanderer: I have a million others like that
Wanderer: which ones to pursue?
Wanderer: which ones to abandon?
Wanderer: where do i see myself ten years from now?
Wanderer: how would I end up?
Wanderer: what are my dreams?
Wanderer: would the pressures force me to abandon them?
A Thinker : hmm
A Thinker : same here
Wanderer: will expectations take a toll on my life?
Wanderer: what relationships are in store for me?
Wanderer: ............................. a series of endless questions.
Wanderer: All this is what I define as existential angst
Wanderer: and you don't have to feel lonely as a sufferer of this
Wanderer: ..
A Thinker : hmm
A Thinker : sounds familiar territory

Wanderer: virtually.. every second individual..
Wanderer: at this stage of his life..
Wanderer: is grappling with the fear that he might die waiting for something to happen..
Wanderer: the something that would change his life.. and give him a genuine reason to look forward to every new day!

A Thinker : hmm where were you all this time
A Thinker : those are my exact thoughts
Wanderer: I've been in here..trying to understand myself better..
Wanderer:.. and out there.. trying to understand life better!

Wanderer: babes.. you knew all this all the time
Wanderer: just never thought of putting it all in words

Wanderer: so where do we go from here?
Wanderer: now that we've identified the problem.. and also put it in words
A Thinker : guess we need to do some introspection first
Wanderer: I'd be more for experimentation
Wanderer: you know..
Wanderer: after this realization
Wanderer: you can't anymore run away from paying attention to this question
Wanderer: unless you get into intoxications
Wanderer: the seeming meaningless-ness of the whole thing.. and the endless wait..
Wanderer: motivates a lot of people into constant indulgence..
Wanderer: with drugs/drinks/sex.....

A Thinker : as in we know where we want to go
A Thinker : but guess we need to be sure about it first
A Thinker : guess that’s how we learn
A Thinker : we are constantly experimenting and evolving
A Thinker : hmm
A Thinker : tell me
Wanderer: no we are not experimenting
Wanderer: and we're not trying to evolve either!
Wanderer: in fact..
Wanderer: often we'd be too scared to jump at the opportunity life offers us!
Wanderer: or too busy with mundanities to pay attention to it!

Wanderer: ok.. dinner time for me in ten mins
Wanderer: so talk quick
A Thinker : have you tried to indulge yourself yet?
Wanderer: As in?
A Thinker : just kidding,
A Thinker : am never game for it
A Thinker : and besides..I have other ideas on indulgence than yours...
A Thinker : we can do it by going deeper into ourselves
A Thinker : and getting a solution
A Thinker : i read it in some book
A Thinker : the solution is already there
A Thinker : we just need to find it
A Thinker : in my case
A Thinker : i seem to be postponing it indefinitely
A Thinker : okies
A Thinker : nah you go have dinner
A Thinker : no point rushing up

Wanderer: hmm.
Wanderer: try what? indulgence?
Wanderer: if you're talking of the drugs etc....
Wanderer: that's an endless thing.
Wanderer: you can't then come out of it.. coz you'll get too deeply buried in depression
A Thinker : going deeper in ourselves
A Thinker : no
A Thinker : no ways
A Thinker : not drugs baba
A Thinker : wanna keep it clean

A Thinker : i want to get a mental high
A Thinker : some kind of mental orgasm
Wanderer: well..
Wanderer: that can come in two ways
Wanderer: intellectual masturbation.. or intellectual copulation!
Wanderer: you gotta figure out what's the way for you!
A Thinker : need a mate for the latter
Wanderer: did you give anyone a shot?
A Thinker : there are very few or rather rare ppl who do the latter or I haven’t come across many
Wanderer: alright.. in that case, do with the former till you can find one for the latter.
Wanderer: !
A Thinker : i guess
A Thinker : but
Wanderer: ?
Wanderer: so the time comes for a barrage of questions
Wanderer: but hey.. that's when you embark on the journey
Wanderer: before that..
Wanderer: the set of instructions is done i guess.

A Thinker : hmm kinda didnt get u tehre
Wanderer: it's like..
Wanderer: when you're given a task..
Wanderer: and a set of instructions..
Wanderer: you read the instructions..
Wanderer: have few doubts.
Wanderer: which are cleared...
Wanderer: you hardly get any more doubts before you embark upon the journey
Wanderer: but once you do..
Wanderer: you have a barrrage of them!
A Thinker : and while you perform the task
A Thinker : they come in torrents
A Thinker : more like teething problem you have in whatever u reach out to do
Wanderer: ?
Wanderer: ok..
Wanderer: i'll go eat now
Wanderer: catch ya later
A Thinker : thanks sweetheart
A Thinker : u have a nice dinner
A Thinker : c ya later

The conversation ended thus.. and so did the thirst.. went away into dormancy for some time.. to make space in my mind for tables of 14 and 17!

wanderer..